JustBhem

As much as possible, I really don't like to share. I don't want to open my book to people. But life is wonderful for me, I will take it back. I will share everything that is good to share. I'm 32 now and been battling life ever since. I was diagnosed that I have a Chronic Kidney Disease which is apparently in the end stage. So the only other way to lengthened my life is through Dialysis. Yup. For almost 3 years now I'm into Dialysis. As far, it's never been better. How does it feel? Well, it's painful at first and after it will make me feel its either dizzy, weak and sometimes a little bit better. Other may find it very hard for us but we take it as a challenge. Every day we combat ourselves with prayers and love from the people who cares a lot for us. We take strenght from our loved ones who continually giving us more understanding and patience. That what make us want to live more. Seeing them fighting for us is life for us ahead. While other find us

12 more days to go and it's Christmas and I think everyone in our village is excited because it means a lot for those people who will get reunited and be together during that one celebration. Of course I'm also excited. I do have plans stuffed in my head for Christmas. Like cook food with all of favorite dishes in our table, be with my Family,  gifts to give to my nieces and nephews, get together with my friends, spending time with Ian and most importantly offer grateness and thankfulness to our mighty savior. For me Christmas is something to cherish every year, time for making up and enjoy and plan the year ahead. Of course Christmas is LOVE. My wished for this coming Christmas is good health, fighting chance, love and more years to live. May we all have a Merry Christmas! 

All I want for Christmas is a donor and a sponsor for my Kidney Transplant. What the heck! Ka garbo sa akong Christmas wish. Well, who wants to be better? Of course I want! Bisan pang imposible. This month marks my second year of being a Dialysis Patient and I'm thankful for that because I was able to surpassed those days. Now I'm counting for another days, months and years to come surviving this sickness. Unta maka get over nako aning punga ug kaluya. Kapoy pud biya na pirmi na lang ko ingun ani though keri paman nako pero gusto gyud ko di ko pungahon. Christmas is coming. Pila na lang ka days. Simbang gabi napud ug Noche Buena. Next kay New year napud. I'm expecting present and wishes from friends. Unta naa koy makuha regalo. You know that feeling when someone give you present and ganahan kaayo ka sa imong nadawat. Kalipay gyud sa heart. Hehe.. Now I'm checking my list for food this Christmas. Unta ubay2 pud ang ma cook. Wala raba akong Father. Hays.. Unta no

First time ko makakita ug No Other Woman earlier today. Well, just so you know, I don't like watching Tagalog movies. Di kay wala ko gatang kilik sa mga Filipino movies it's just that I find it very OA. So, me and my mother watched it on primetime this morning. At first, I was so hesitant to watch it because of the main characters but since wala may lain salida na pugos ko'g watch. Di ko namalayan akong mudra focus na kaayo sa salida kay di gyud sya padistorbo, diay kay naka relate sya. Aw. Hahaha. Why the husband cheat? I asked myself. Nakita nko sa movie na, aside sa pakikialam sa parents sa wife, boring pud ang wife. Isa siguro pud sa mga factor. Then if ang involve na girl kay homyghad ka gwapa ug sexy, plus rich pa gyud. Mabuang gyud imohang hubby sa iyaha. In my parents situation, both have the same issues. Father's issues are; sugal and his long term other woman. Mother's issues are; selos, making stories, tamad, not a wife figure or a mother,  nagger

Karon lang nako na realize na sa una pa diay nako gina defend akong mama sa akong Lola Fely (purya hisgot), sa akong mga anty (igsuon sa akong papa) ug sa lain tao. Before, I remember someone told me about my mother na sa una pirmi daw didto sa Calinan and naga inom. For me I don't believe it because I know his busy taking care of my siblings. Na she works hard for my siblings. Until one day, nakita nako ang pag daku sa tiyan sa akong mama. Whenever I remember that, maglagot gyud ko. For the past 13 years of being independent, I can say na di gyud lalim walay parents labi nag inahan. Pero I'm loving the freedom I get. And na realize nako na I was never loved by my mother. Kay she never was a good mother to me, not a single one. And when I came back here, nakita nako iyahang true colors. That's why I cannot blame my brothers for hating me gamay. She was never a good mother for my siblings. Ug tinuod sarili lang gyud niya iyahang gi huna2 that's why Father always go

Here I am again. Flooding my thoughts whether I should be here or not. And guess what?! Naa napud ko ngari. Supposedly I should be sleeping na kay Birthday ni Basty karon. Bonifacio Day. I need to prepare his Birthday sa gamay'ng handa. Since naa man mi gi alagaan na manok, so mao to among lutuon ugma. We planned to have chicken afritada, chicken curry and chicken/pork adobo. Family gathering and other relatives lang gud. As long as mahandaan gamay si Basty. Father Bear already gave his simple blow out gaina. I'm so tired ug binaktasay sa mall pero keri lang japun because I don't want to spoil Basty's happiness. Sakay sakay sya sa mga rides sa mall; bump car, train-train ug uban pa. Then nag snack mis Jollibee, na tingala ko na hakog man kaayo kog drum stick and guess what? Wala gyud nako na ubos akong share. It's like I'm busog when in fact I didn't have my breakfast and lunch. Then picture picture kay Jollibee mascot with Yum pero si Basty hastang had

Two more nights and it's Basty's Birthday. Been planning to celebrate it sa balay lang kay kapoy mag pool or mag dagat. Will cook spaghetti or bihon with bread for kids in the neighborhood pero na change sya because of his father. So we decided na ilaag na lang namo sya ni Ian sa mall, mag jollibee and mag rides rides. For his happiness since di paman gyud niya ma feel ang essence sa iyahang Birthday kay mag 3 paman sya. Then na timingan pjud na session nako so I need to have plan B. I just can't ignore this devil. His been with us since his father abondoned him and when his mother left him. Luoy na bata that is why I'm here to give all the love he can get from me since I don't have our own. I love this kid so much it hurts everytime mahuna-hunaan nako na mawala nako sa kalibutan kay mag unsa na lang ning bataa ni. I don't want him to suffer as what his father's been through. I want him to be educated and win every battle he will have. Ug unta naa ko when

This part of my sanity is where I write my issues. This has been open to those who want to know the real me. Well I guess no one bothers to know me coz no one ever visited this page. Maybe someday, if I will be gone. Okay. I've been very bad to my brother (Archie). Like I always nagged him every time na mosulod syag balay. For me, he deserved that because gipili niya iyang de puta na uyab. He deserved that kind of treatment because I'm tired of helping him, understanding him and defending him. All my life as a sister,I tried everything to make him good pero at the end ako pa jpun ang mali. After all the help and the money to saved his ass from prison, ako jpun ang mali. I tried to understand him kay wala ko sa iyahang tungod when our mother fucked up. I know nga dili lalim iyahang mga na agihan na walay sister or mother na mag alaga sa iyaha. I know the feeling because I also went to that moment of emptiness. But it didn't give me reason to stay a bad ass. That is why li

Been contemplating my thoughts whether I should fill this portion or not. And since I still can't sleep, yet, let me fill this in. Christmas is just around the corner. People are very busy buying stuff for their houses to be decorated with christmas essentials. And  since I loved christmas, I decided to buy some, of course with the boyfie's expense. Mother wants to have a blue christmas motif (pag bigyan) so I bought blue decorations such as blue christmas balls and blue christmas lights for her delight. Actually, I really don't care about decorations as long as we will have that what so called christmas spirits. Then we made a list of foods for our Noche Buena (sar) so that we can do some preparations. Mom wants to cook boneless lechon belly. Which I doubt it will never be because of our budget. As for me I never ask for expensive foods and a small family gathering is top of my list. I want my Christmas will be a memorable one, unlike last year. I want to beat that

It's 2:54 in the morning and I'm here so awake watching videos of JT in Youtube. I just want to feel okay before slumbering. Okay. I think I feel the need to patch this space here and when was the the last time I posted some 'unwanted post' here? Anyway, we checked my lab result at the center and twas raining when I shouldn't be but since I want to know the result of my lab, we push hard enough to get through the rain. It should be worth it if I passed the lab result and just like we thought, I got low grade of 61 (I'm referring to my Hemoglobin count for this month) by the way. I felt sad about it but I really dont have a slot for choices so that means I need to have another blood transfusions on monday. That would be two days from now. So, Ian (the boyfriend) planned to be the donor (for blood) and we will be early on monday for the screening and other things. After all the plannings and talking, off we went to the city to buy meds (for my maintenance) an

I feel sad tonight. Maybe because I'm still sick. Been having cough and flu and fever. Tonight I feel emotional. I remember the past where I used to do normal things. I can run, I can washed clothes, I can cooked and make love. I know there's no turning back and that I should be grateful because I'm still alive. But whenever I remember or see photos of myself, I just can't hold back the sadness. Nagpabaya ako, OO and I blamed myself for that. Tao lang din naman ako. Nagkakamali rin. I have a lot of pagkukulang sa pamilya ko at sa sarili ko. And guess what, I'm paying it until I die. I know it's useless keep blaming myself. All I should do is keep strong and focus in recovering and be better. Who knows miracle will walk in and bump me. Well if that happens then I'll be the luckiest Dialysis survivor living. I just need to have that faith. I know it will come someday. Best luck for me! Wicked sick.. :)

Growing up without a mom to guide you is somewhat awful. I was 16 when my mom decided I need to live with my grandmother (my father's aunt) so that I will have a better future ahead of me since she no longer take the responsibility. I have no choice because I am a good daughter. I hate not to be with my siblings because I know they need me instead of my mom. But what can I do? I am once an obeying daughter. Living in my grandmother is not quiet hard. My only task was to cooked breakfast for lola. Help her take her medicine and looked after her sugar intake. She also was the one who make my way to college. She took full responsibility for my studies. Gave me clothes to wear and a shelter. Though sometimes we don't talk much I know she cares for me and I loved her for that. When I found out my mom was dating someone. I pictured out our family. I felt that I shouldn't be here and that I should be with my brothers who needs me. I blamed myself for being a good daughter

I really dont like sharing. And since I have a blog I'm much oblige to share. Okay. I'm 32 years old and I'm sexy. Kidding. I worked in a callcenter for five years. Not to mention the months I went on for call center hopping way back 2008 in Manila. Went home in Davao for a break from the hussle and buzzle of the city life and the painful of heartbreaks. Started a new life in this old place. Worked my way as independent citizen of Davao. Succeeded for 5 years as a callcenter agent. Year 2009 I was diagnosed of having a cyst in my right ovary and I need to remove it, of course I need to have an operation to get it done. Since then I experienced throbbing sensation of mild headache, painful nape and unwanted vomiting. They said, that once your body is open to any kind of operation, expected you'll get any kind of sickness. So, at age of 25 I was diagnosed of a Chronic Kidney Disease secondary to Hypertension. Since then I tasted the awful bitterness of taking my main

If you've been through a lot of hardships in life and you have given a chance to love again, are you going for a woman who's been into many trials than you and the sad part is has two kids from different guy. Would you allow yourself to be involve in that kind of misfortune? Well, if I were that guy. I wouldnt. As to many girls are there in this planet who are fresh and single. For me that kind of woman deserve someone of the same situation. And for that woman, instead of searching for true love why don't she focus on her kids instead. As kids are the best blessings in life. They are angels. I caught myself thinking about this because of a friend. Well, I liked her a lot. From being a strong woman, smart and fashionable. For those guys who haven't know her, they will simply go for this kind. She was married as I remember. Never annuled or divorce. She has a daughter from her first husband. They saparated because (as for her) she was a battered wife. Then after be

Hi, How are you? It's been so long we haven't talk. How's life back there? I hope you are okay. Hi, How are you? How you've been. I hope you have a good day. Are you still there? Hi, How are you? I'm lost, wondering if you still care. Been trying to reach you. Are you okay? Hi, How are you? I think I will finally let you go. This will be my last message. Goodbye. I wroye this because I miss someone.

I'm still half way through the end of the story where Lestat and her mother met in their old sanctuary and I can't wait to read the whole book. If only I can skip until the last page. Anyway, I'm talking about Anne Rice Prince Lestat book. Been reading this everyday and whenever I read a new chapter, I can't wait for the next chapter. Sometimes I find it disconcerting because of different cast mentioned in every chapter. Above all, it surely entertained me. I planned to buy Interview with the Vampire next month. Hopefully I can find a second book or else I will end up to save again. I have a lot of books in mind to buy but what's more important for me is to save for my twice a week session and other stuff for my dialysis. Thank God. Boyfriend already paid my Health insurance so that I still can avail of much lesser session or else I will end up dying. I guess I better stop this for awhile and will read Lestat's mind again. See yeah! Wicked sick.

I really despise those people who, at their adult age, is still looking for that thing called LOVE. Duh. Like what the heck?! Love cannot be found. It's a feeling! A wonderful feeling for someone you've met in that long winding road called Life. You can't find it under a table or in between your thights. It will hit you. Right in your heart without your knowing. Then once it hit you, it will create a memoir of emotions and at the same time, waves of pain. Because wether you like it or not, love will surely comes with pain. Why? Because you let your emotions run into your head down into your heart, then it will go through your eyes. And that's crying. Yes! It's either you will cry of happiness or sadness or both! So please. Stop. Look and listen! Love has nothing to do with your stupidity. Because love is sacred for those who believed in it.. Wag kang maarte! Di bagay sayo. Hahaha..

Been asking myself this. Who am I living for? What is my sole purpose in life?  I thought, I was living because of one certain person. And as the days keep passing by, I found the answer right in front of me. I want to live  because I want to witness my nieces and nephews growing old. To witness their adulthood, if by chance, to witness their Family life. Whenever I see them, I felt so complete. Then plans starting to fill up my mind. I want them to be a better person. I want to guide them to their future their parents don't have. Through me, I want them to have a better future ahead of them. I think this is my calling God wants me to do since I didn't have the chance with my brothers. Since I cannot bring back those chances I have wasted. This maybe the best purpose I must do. I already resolved what's the puzzle I've been fighting. And as long as I'm breathing, if I can, I will help them organize their lives. A best gift I can give them while I'm sti

I was inspired to write something of my own poetry. A new one from Wicked sick.. I dreamed of you last night, We are walking towards a beautiful garden that has a lot of sundry flowers.. They bloomed and emblaze in colors.. Then we moved towards a green grassy lawn and we sat there.. Our feet crossed and we are staring at each other.. You held my hand, just like before. You smiled at me and touched my face.. I looked away and marvel how the sun rays covered the entire garden.. And uttered 'its a good day indeed.' You are still staring at me, smiling.. I cannot fathomed why I don't hear any words from you.. You  just smiled and looks like your studying my face, every inch of it.. You held my hand very tight.. You pressed it hard enough to make me feel the pain.. Then you suddenly let it go.. You stand and ran away from me.. I woke up.

No matter how hard I tried to skip what I'm feeling by reading a book, the pain is still there. I really can't take the scene I encountered earlier. My heart is in pain seeing my Father leaving the house with all of his things. He leaves because it's not what he wanted to do but doing my so called mother a Big favor. And I hate her, so much! I tried to bring back the good side I have for her but no matter how I tried, she still a pain. A pain for us all. I kept asking myself of all people I want to hate, why my own mother? My mother,who brought me to this world, gave me shelter and took me for 9 months in her womb. Only to find out that I was never loved. I was never the daughter she wants. I don't even remember she brought me things or give me presents. All I can remember is, she always nags. Always get mad. Always gets jealous. I never see her happy with us. All she ever think is revenge for what my Father did to her. And look what she brought for herself, a son fr

I'm so inspired to write some poetry today. It's like words come right through me. But I'm not a good writer just like anybody. I'm just trying to be like one and will never stop writing as long as I live. Learning the basic is what I'm doing now. Inspired by those local and individual who loves to write. I have here two of my writings. I know its not constructed but that's poetry right? More misery in its words. I also discovered my new fave author though I haven't got a chance to read her book but read some of her passage and poems. And I'm looking forward to have her books. Anyway, here's my two piece of my written words. More writings from me.. Till then. 

11 days and I'm still stuck here. The room where I was lodging is so damn hot and it's like no thin air could possibly get in the way. Most of the time I spent  half of the day sitting outside my room, trying to take advantage of the cieling fan while a lot of people passing through me. Some will stop and asked me about my condition. Others will just annoy me. Today, I will have my session. Probably later this afternoon. I will also have another transfusion hopefully no more reaction because it's killing me like hell every time itchyness will start aborting me. Oh. I'm praying that it will gone. I think the problem about public hospital is the lack of having nurses, nurse aid and doctors. That is why a lot of patient dies without further check and care. I suggest they should hire a lot of nurse and doctors. And I don't even know if someone will read this. Well hopefully everything will end well today. Living you with this..

Have you found the one? I've been reading a lot of post about being single. Some of them are very sad about it while others find it a joke or call it misfortune. Some were happy about it and others are bitter.. Why am I blogging about it? When am not even single. Lol.. Just a thought. Being single is not a joke if your almost 30. Like who wants to stay single forever? Based on my own experiences. It's not easy being alone when you already used to have someone. And it's like when you see a couple passing infront of you, you felt that awkward feeling and you'll start asking yourself, why is she dating him when she's not even pretty? And why am I alone when I am pretty than her. I used to get this thought before and I know others are feeling the same way too.. Well I guess the factors that can affect our perception about being single is the thought of finding the right guy for you. Also when people afraid of having a commitment and end up heart broken. Or othe

How long will you fight for love? After series of finding the answer about the question. I found myself tangled in the middle of a situation where my brother has an involvement. It all started when my Brother was left by his suppose to be wife over another scumbag. Well, who wants to have a husband who don't know how to work for his family? My Brother who apparently know nothing was left, with their baby. He raised his son very well until he found his self looking at nowhere and feeling so miserable about what happened to his life. I saw his suffering and even if he doesn't talk much about his own battle, I sense that he is suffering too much that he could not bare. Until he found another subject for his painful relationship. I love my brothers and I hate seeing them suffering from an unwanted life. But who am I to choose for them who to love? I don't even know their likes. Anyway, He never introduced the new found love to us for the thought that we will agai

Write Something? As I was checking my phone. I saw this notes apps and ask me to write something. Then all of sudden it reminds me that I need to post something here in this side of the world. I had a successful treatment last night. Though I kinda not feeling well but I tried to skip the feeling just to get in time with my session. At the center were few of the patients waiting for each turn. Same familiar faces. I drew my encouragement smile to my co-patients to let them know that everything will be okay and will fell better during our session. I'm still coughing and felt that glutinous phlegm under my troath. It's awful, I know, that is why I really don't like having a cough. I tried to be calm despite of the struggle I encountered on my way to the center. I felt I'm going to die with my heavy breathing. And as always, I went to the chapel in the hospital to talk to God to guide me during my session. My session end at exactly 10:15 PM. I rested for 15 mns

It took me less than a month of not being here. And in this moment, I felt the need to update the whatsoever kind of battle I have since I brought this blog to life. Others may find it not so informative because I am a trying hard blogger. And who cares? If I am a trying-hard-blogger! I live for myself, and for pleasuring myself. Okay. Stop.. What else am I going to write here? Well, for the last 3 months, I had a successful treatment. There is a little problem about my blood pressure in which I can keep up. It just a matter of taking all those prescribed medicines I have. I celebrated my 32nd Birthday with Family in the beach. Of course with the help of my relatives for their donations or whatever you call it. And in that simple gathering, I am so grateful. What else? Hmm. My cousin who I thought will be working in Japan came back. They only have a visiting visa thats why. My Brother who still on drugs and with his slut girlfriend is still out of control and still chooses t

I know, I know it's too late to blog about my summer, and as the saying goes : It's better be late than never. It's not all the time you'll going to meet people with different kind of personalities. You don't know how to deal with them not until you finally spend a day with them. And being with strangers is somewhat exciting for me. It's like a puzzle of a game that you need to win in order for you to see the whole thing. It's also the same thing as finding their names without asking each one of them. You just have to fill in the mistery in order for you to survive and once you survived, you will get the freedom to know them by their names. The meeting place with DMSI  Davao Mio Soul-I Club..  As the time keep on clicking, you will developed a good connections from them. Then you will find your own self talking, laughing and exchanging thoughts with them without your knowing that you both have the same goal; to get to the place, spend your las

Like almost every relationship. There's no guarantee that you will have your forever with someone. In every relationship, misunderstanding and hardships are part of it. It's either you have to survive it, take control of it or just let it go. I've been through a lot of relationship. There was a time that I almost break someone's relationship because of my selfishness. I tried having two relationship at a time. I was happy while someone is aching. I also tried to have a relationship with a married guy. And every time I remeber those bad moments of my life. It will only disgust me. When I finally got hold of my thoughts and have my heart talk to my mind. I decided to live my life of being a simple single girl having a fabulous job. I lure myself to the positive way of living a life without someone to think of, to bothered about or rather to love. Well at first it was easy, work-sleep-eat and eat-sleep-work. Until one time I woke up very empty. I felt the need to have

Mother's Day. When was the last time I greeted my mom a Happy Mother's day? I think that was a long time ago.  Okay. I am not bitter about celebrating that but I don't give a dime to what is the real essence of that affair. And would love to greet those moms who touched most of their daughters life, and I was not given that kind of opportunity. You may call it sadness for me and I don't even care. So a friend asked me a favor about sending her mom a flowers and a cake. How thoughtful for a daughter to give such sweetness to her mom. And to all honesty, I envy her coz for God sake, she was nurtured very well by her mom and look! She is now a professional engineering working abroad having a god damn bonuses for her job well done while I was only given a small amount of her salary as a help for my lifetime treatment. Disgusting I know, right? Okay. I should still be thankful I have a mother who regularly giving me more sarcastic review of what karma is all about and

It's been awhile now since I haven't sorted my thoughts here and now I felt I needed to fill in the spot where I left. Anyway,... I was busy checking my IG                (Instagram)  account one day and saw Miranda Kerr's post, it was her Birthday and I greeted her. Along with her post below it, there was a message by her and a poem. The poem caught my attention and read it loud. It was a good poem. And it looks like it was written for me. The thoughts of it was the same of what I experienced.  I copied the poem and looked for it in the Internet. Since its a very nice poem, I thought of sharing this here. She Let Go by Rev. Safire Rose.. She let go. Without a thought or a word, she let go. She let go of the fear.  She let go of the judgments.  She let go of the confluence of opinions swarming around her head.  She let go of the committee of indecision within her.  She let go of all the ‘right’ reasons. Wholly and completely, without hesitation or worry, she just

I have this attitude of telling someone of how awful they look like or how stupid they are. I mean, it's not bad right? For being honest.  Anyway I'm not on denial. As I've said, I have this attitude of telling someone of how they look so stupid or how bad they are. I know its bad but the good thing is - I only keep it inside me. So whether you are doing good or bad for me, I always have something to say.  So expect yourself you'll get a bunch of bad words from me.  And for those people who really know me. If youd ask them, pretty sure they will tell you things about how damned I am because of how I deal with people who know nothing about me, especially those people who are hypocrite and judgemental.  But I'm not a hater of man kind though somehow I was born wretched that attitude already burried 2 years ago. I am a better person now with so much good things to say. And I'm not expecting anybody to understand me because changing the way you dea

Summer is coming. And I know everyone is excited about it. For sure beaches will flock by beach bums and so are those famous summer places in the city. How I would really love to go with the flow and be as normal as other people. Would love to start by walking in the shore line, watch peebles swingging by the waves, take pictures of myself with friends and of course with Ian, and also would love to swim and feel the salt water all over my body. I already converse about it with Ian regarding our summer escapade together. And we both agreed that we need to plan it carefully because it would be my very first time after a year of my recovery phase. So, as early as last week I already look for a rash guard to wear and to hide my fistula in the eyes of those judgemental people, and for me to feel comfortable while taking pictureque view of the shore. I'm excited, I know. Also friends are planning for an outing in the north. How I would really love to go to Enchanted River and Britan

"Envy consumes nothing but it's own heart. It is a kind of admiration for those whom you least want to praise." Okay. I guess this message slap me in the face. I'm no denial when it comes to being envious, but in a good way that I didn't take it as a bad idea. It's more of a inspiration for me that to be like them I need to stand on my own and do my best shot. I even can't blame myself for becoming like this. I'm just human. Born to be imperfect and flawed. And becoming a sick person is the sickess sickening illness I've got. Ever since I belonged to this no cure sickness, I already setup my mind that in order to get use of this I need to be cool, do the things I want and live my life at peace which what I'm currently been doing now. And I'm telling you, it's so hard but I know with God's good graces I will be able to rise. Well being envious I think is not a bad idea if you lool at it as a positive way to be better and not

When I was young, I really wanted to have a sister. I had one but she died when I was 7 years old. Father bear also want's to have another daughter. When mother got pregnant again, father was happy, and when they found out it's a boy. Father said, let's try once again. Until, I have 5 brooding brothers. When school is about to be my second home, I envied my little classmates for they have sisters who always fetched them. While me, I was given a task to look after my second brother. It was quiet normal for me though because through that I was able to do my given task a good remarks. Father was so pleased seeing me with my brother together. High school is crucial. I still need to look after with my Brother though Father already gave up that responsibility to me, because I need to focus on my own and brother also need to stand on his feet. But I cannot bear the thought of giving up to my brother when I knew that he was already attached to me. I still look after him at sch

And to end this post is our picture.. 

Whenever I felt that I am the worst human being to experienced Life cruelties, I pray hard, that, if only, I could save other people from their own suffering, I will carry them myself but I'm not Jesus. I don't have the will to do that. I'm just human who are still suffering from life's fairness. You may say I am being bored for what is written here but I am on my own sanity. I just love to write and let go of my thoughts for somebody who will accidentally  try to read all of my life's dramas. Who knows, they may find answers or maybe enlightenment for their own miseries. Hopefully. Or maybe a laughing porgatory (for being dull). I know my writings are not somehow like a pro but definitely people will understand them, and if not, then try to look for more meaningful blogs ahead. So what are you waiting for? Tired of reading? Kidding. Stay. Please.. Okay, the thought about this post is how my day today is about to end. I did nothing the whole day but to keep