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Thoughts for thoughts

Karon lang nako na realize na sa una pa diay nako gina defend akong mama sa akong Lola Fely (purya hisgot), sa akong mga anty (igsuon sa akong papa) ug sa lain tao. Before, I remember someone told me about my mother na sa una pirmi daw didto sa Calinan and naga inom. For me I don't believe it because I know his busy taking care of my siblings. Na she works hard for my siblings. Until one day, nakita nako ang pag daku sa tiyan sa akong mama. Whenever I remember that, maglagot gyud ko.

For the past 13 years of being independent, I can say na di gyud lalim walay parents labi nag inahan. Pero I'm loving the freedom I get. And na realize nako na I was never loved by my mother. Kay she never was a good mother to me, not a single one.

And when I came back here, nakita nako iyahang true colors. That's why I cannot blame my brothers for hating me gamay. She was never a good mother for my siblings. Ug tinuod sarili lang gyud niya iyahang gi huna2 that's why Father always go back to his mistress. Nasakitan ko sa mga pang hitabo na pwedi man unta dili mahitabo kung di lang gyud tungod sa pride. But my mother has it. Grabe kaayo ka pride kung tutuosin she don't have the right because of what she's done. And bringing the past won't make her feel the hero kay mas luod iyahang gibuhat.

I hate to say all these but that's the truth. Kung gi huna-huna lang unta nila ang mga kaugmaon namu, siguro we wont be like this. Kulang sa pag aruga, sa pag sabot, sa pag amuma ug sa gugma.
Gusto ko na before ko kaonon sa yuta ma realize sa akong mama iyahang mga mali ug itama niya, pati pud akong papa. Pride will never make them better. Hays.

Naka realize pud ko na basin maong gibuhi ko ni God sa akong ikaduhang kinabuhi is to make them realize na naa pa silay pamilya na kinahanglan ilahang gugma isip ginikanan namo. Maybe I am the key to make our family reunited again pero na sablay nako because of my mothers dakung bakak.

Hays. I don't want to cry anymore. Mabughat lang kos cgeg hinilak wala gihapon koy mabuhat sa pagka karon. 

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