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Hurting..

This part of my sanity is where I write my issues. This has been open to those who want to know the real me. Well I guess no one bothers to know me coz no one ever visited this page. Maybe someday, if I will be gone.

Okay. I've been very bad to my brother (Archie). Like I always nagged him every time na mosulod syag balay. For me, he deserved that because gipili niya iyang de puta na uyab. He deserved that kind of treatment because I'm tired of helping him, understanding him and defending him. All my life as a sister,I tried everything to make him good pero at the end ako pa jpun ang mali. After all the help and the money to saved his ass from prison, ako jpun ang mali. I tried to understand him kay wala ko sa iyahang tungod when our mother fucked up. I know nga dili lalim iyahang mga na agihan na walay sister or mother na mag alaga sa iyaha. I know the feeling because I also went to that moment of emptiness. But it didn't give me reason to stay a bad ass. That is why libog ko nganu nagka ingun ana sya.

God knows I'm hurting every time ginabuhat nko na sa iyaha. Kay gusto nako na if in time nga wala nami kabalo sya mo tindog sa iyahang kaugalingon ug di na lang pirmi mag salig sa amoa. Sa tanan na iyahang gipang ingon sa akoa I know he still respects me, madala lang gyud cguro sya sa iyang kalagot sa akoa. I don't have intention of hurting him, I just want him to feel na mali iyahang dagan sa iyahang kinabuhi. If you see him now, mas masakiton pa sya tan-awon sa akoa. With his boney face now, the Archie I know and who promised me to undo all the things he did - na wala na. I'm not seeing my brother anymore. The one who silently go away if mag yawyaw ko. Who obeyed me whenever I asked him to be a better papa to Basty. He's gone because of that woman he is with now.

Yup! Ang de puta na babae na nakaguba gyud sa among relasyon as igsuon, dugot laman. She's the one responsible for my brother to look broken and skeleton. Like gibuhat na namo tanan na mawala ang babae sa iyaha, pero mas gipili pjud niya ang babae. I know its not for love but for lust for drugs. Ang babae ga hatag sa iyaha ug droga that is why di gyud sya makabulag. Mao di niya mabiyaan. For how many times I asked someone about unsa akong buhaton sa ilaha. Pero I got scared every time I tried that. Nag huna-huna kos sa iyaha. Hays..

And here I am, nasakitan ko na hantud karon wa pay kaon siya. Pero I know him, if kaon lang makapaningkamot sya. Unta, mawala najud ang dakung tunok sa among mga dughan (ang babae) ug makabalik na ang akong manghud sa amoa. Unta ma realized niya na ang uyab pwedi pa mabiyaan pero ang pamilya naa rajud pirmi. Unta masabtan niya ang tanan..

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