As much as possible, I really don't like to share. I don't want to open my book to people. But life is wonderful for me, I will take it back. I will share everything that is good to share.
I'm 32 now and been battling life ever since. I was diagnosed that I have a Chronic Kidney Disease which is apparently in the end stage. So the only other way to lengthened my life is through Dialysis. Yup. For almost 3 years now I'm into Dialysis. As far, it's never been better.
How does it feel?
Well, it's painful at first and after it will make me feel its either dizzy, weak and sometimes a little bit better.
Other may find it very hard for us but we take it as a challenge. Every day we combat ourselves with prayers and love from the people who cares a lot for us. We take strenght from our loved ones who continually giving us more understanding and patience. That what make us want to live more. Seeing them fighting for us is life for us ahead.
While other find us disgusting and ugly. Well there are a lot of people who are very closed minded. They take us as if we are contagious but we are not. As much as possible we don't talk to people because they might have something to make us weak. Because we are prone to any kind of sickness, our immune system is weak. That is why we need to have vaccine of any kind to fight for us.
My first year was the hardest. I cannot consume every thing that is ahead. I felt very weak, aggravated, full of hate and insecurities. My body become so weak, pale and thin. It's like I'm into malnourished kind of stage. I'd like to eat and drink a lot of fluid which I should not because it will only stay inside my body. I cannot urine much anymore. That's the reaction from Dialysis, by the way. My body and my whole spirit is trying to recover.
My second year was kinda slow. I learned a lot of ways how to make me feel better. If I feel congest, I will take a walk and breathe. If I feel dizzy I will take a nap. If I feel weak I will try my best to stand and walk and be calm. If I have headache, will take biogesic and sleep. Then my body is continually kept recovering. But I'm still pale and thin and I noticed my skin is dry and become darker. They said it's the reaction coming from the machine (Dialysis). At first I cannot take it and I want my body back the way it was before. But I don't have a choice. That's what it is.
I don't know what's ahead of my 3rd year. New year is just around one day. I don't know what's ahead of me in 2016. Well, maybe to make me a lot better even if I'm this sick. I will make my life more better and meaningful. Hopefully no more grudges and hate. More love from my special one. More understanding from my family even if they cannot support me financially. All I want for them is to be there when I need them. More patience if I get mad. Hopefully no more weak days and dizzyness. No more headache and ER. Hopefully I can get a job that is good for me. More prayers from friends, more meet up with long long friends, more help from friends who cares. And more peace to the world.
This is Bhem and thank you for reading..
Have a Merry Christmas and A Prosperous New year to all.
love
hugs and kisses..
I'm 32 now and been battling life ever since. I was diagnosed that I have a Chronic Kidney Disease which is apparently in the end stage. So the only other way to lengthened my life is through Dialysis. Yup. For almost 3 years now I'm into Dialysis. As far, it's never been better.
How does it feel?
Well, it's painful at first and after it will make me feel its either dizzy, weak and sometimes a little bit better.
Other may find it very hard for us but we take it as a challenge. Every day we combat ourselves with prayers and love from the people who cares a lot for us. We take strenght from our loved ones who continually giving us more understanding and patience. That what make us want to live more. Seeing them fighting for us is life for us ahead.
While other find us disgusting and ugly. Well there are a lot of people who are very closed minded. They take us as if we are contagious but we are not. As much as possible we don't talk to people because they might have something to make us weak. Because we are prone to any kind of sickness, our immune system is weak. That is why we need to have vaccine of any kind to fight for us.
My first year was the hardest. I cannot consume every thing that is ahead. I felt very weak, aggravated, full of hate and insecurities. My body become so weak, pale and thin. It's like I'm into malnourished kind of stage. I'd like to eat and drink a lot of fluid which I should not because it will only stay inside my body. I cannot urine much anymore. That's the reaction from Dialysis, by the way. My body and my whole spirit is trying to recover.
My second year was kinda slow. I learned a lot of ways how to make me feel better. If I feel congest, I will take a walk and breathe. If I feel dizzy I will take a nap. If I feel weak I will try my best to stand and walk and be calm. If I have headache, will take biogesic and sleep. Then my body is continually kept recovering. But I'm still pale and thin and I noticed my skin is dry and become darker. They said it's the reaction coming from the machine (Dialysis). At first I cannot take it and I want my body back the way it was before. But I don't have a choice. That's what it is.
I don't know what's ahead of my 3rd year. New year is just around one day. I don't know what's ahead of me in 2016. Well, maybe to make me a lot better even if I'm this sick. I will make my life more better and meaningful. Hopefully no more grudges and hate. More love from my special one. More understanding from my family even if they cannot support me financially. All I want for them is to be there when I need them. More patience if I get mad. Hopefully no more weak days and dizzyness. No more headache and ER. Hopefully I can get a job that is good for me. More prayers from friends, more meet up with long long friends, more help from friends who cares. And more peace to the world.
This is Bhem and thank you for reading..
Have a Merry Christmas and A Prosperous New year to all.
love
hugs and kisses..
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