JustBhem

My first entry for this year. I think I'm oblige to put my thoughts into writing that is why I am here in this corner. If you ask me if I'm okay, I'm glad to say I am a little bit okay after celebrating Holidays with my loved ones. Another year to spend here. Meaning new experiences and a lot more. Last year was kinda stiff and I'm hoping this year will give me more luck wether it's for Health, Wealth, Career or Love. Nothing change about me except my goal for this year. My goal is to have a Kidney Transplant. I figured that I am still young dwelling on sad notes and lonely sea. So it is much better to change the sail of my ship. I know there will be a lot of rough tides ahead of me and with my powerful will to live, I can sail into many seas. Aside from that willingness there is also these massive negativity surrounds me. I hope I can weild them. Fighting!

If I can write all the pain for the past few years, it will be a very long journey. Thank God I don't have that long mile to bring back those sad memories. Only few miles I would like to share. I thought thinking of quitting my job as a customer service rep/technical support/ sales support was the biggest and brilliant idea I had. And it was not at all. It was the worst and very bad decision I made. Maybe because I was so tired of the IR's I had. If I remember completely, I was a very competent and very energetic type of agent before. I always come at work very early just to have a perfect spot. I always don't want to be late and off the cuff. I had all my things well prepared in my station, my computer will be ready, headset is in control. I really loved to go to work. 5 years of being an agent is quiet tough. From being a customer service. I was trained for another scope and I'm still getting the same payout. The last one was very hard. I always end up in anoth...

I'm back after months of being away from here. Well, I feel oblige to write here once again for I don't want this blog to turn to ash. This has been my zen for so many years. And it is so nice to be back once again. I have so many stories and happenings I want to share here. I have an iPhone now. Thanks for a friend who gave me this piece of heaven. I cannot afford to buy this even in my dreams and so grateful that this friend who is very generous and kind gave it to me. I still don't like my mother. She never change and I doubt she will. And I am trying to understand her now. But there are still days I hated her for being so insensitive and dishonest. I'm still praying that she will change for the better. I am still on HD (HemoDialysis) and there is this one time I had a worst after session feels. Like I keep vomiting and I get sick. And it was only for one day. Still thankful though nothing serious happen to me. I have a huge problem at the moment. Our comf...

This would be my latest post after weeks of not responding to my hobbies. I've been very busy with my small business and I'm really having a hard time coping up. And since I don't have much orders today or inquiries, I will post about what happened today. Or should I say, what my thoughts about my mother. I really don't understand my mother. I've been trying to come up with ideas on how to keep track of her misconception about being a mother and sad to say. None of them refers to her. I really want to stand and defend her but what she's doing is all wrong that's why my brothers have always something to say to her. I really don't like the idea of words throwing at her but she's very arrogant and abusive as well. Mind this. She works only for herself and not for us. She always mind her own wants and not our needs as a family. Her being selfish somehow provoke us to dislike her and hating her. For the past years of being a mother, we never felt her...

There she goes again. She's gone and just like that. With no reason at all. No hi's not even goodbye. And I really don't have any clue to why she's doing it again. She will tell you about her life. Then dissappear out of the open. I cannot even see her profile anymore. I dont know if she blocked me or deactivated her account. Wherever you are, I hope you are okay. I don't want to miss you because I know you are not going to miss me too. If you have problems and you want to keep it to yourself then its okay. Its your life and you are doing it great. As for me, I'm okay and will keep it that way although sometimes I'm not. I want you to know that I will always be here if you need someone to listen or to be your bestfriend again. I will not going to change my name for you to come back. Please take good care of yourself. Bhem ♡♡♡