I am back after decade.

I'm back after months of being away from here. Well, I feel oblige to write here once again for I don't want this blog to turn to ash. This has been my zen for so many years. And it is so nice to be back once again.

I have so many stories and happenings I want to share here.

I have an iPhone now. Thanks for a friend who gave me this piece of heaven. I cannot afford to buy this even in my dreams and so grateful that this friend who is very generous and kind gave it to me.

I still don't like my mother. She never change and I doubt she will. And I am trying to understand her now. But there are still days I hated her for being so insensitive and dishonest. I'm still praying that she will change for the better.

I am still on HD (HemoDialysis) and there is this one time I had a worst after session feels. Like I keep vomiting and I get sick. And it was only for one day. Still thankful though nothing serious happen to me.

I have a huge problem at the moment. Our comfort room is a mess. Like a total wrecked. We are not using it for the mean time because the drainage has problem. And I used to go to the public comfort room to do my waste. It is very hassle for my part but at the moment that's the least I can do. Hopefully it will fix soon.

We have another kid living here and he is Basty's older brother. He lives here for the moment because no one will look after him. I kinda don't like the boy because of his being bossy. And I know one day I can get use to it. For the mean time I just need to strengthen my patience for the sake of Basty.

What else? I think that's it for now. I am surely will be back for more.

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Celebrating Good Life at 30..

It was my 30th Birthday yesterday. I am so thankful I got this far and I know I will 30 years from now. I have that faith in me. So I celebrated my Birthday at home with my family of course. We shared good food,good drinks and good conversation as always. My father empress me by cooking my fave dishes. I was surprised by how they prepared me my birthday dinner. I am overwhelmed. I know that I am still their one and only PRINCESS. My brothers was there and some relatives as well. For me that was one of the special event in my life and I know more to come. After dinner my mother and I bought some ice cream and jelly roll for dessert and for the nephews and nieces. They like ice cream so much. When I was a kid I am a slacker for ice cream and now that I'm adult I don't like eating too much ice cream anymore. You know the thought that ice cream are for kids not for adults anymore. Do you agree with that? I agree lol. This time no cards and no flowers. I just remembe...

Look who's back with a BANG!

And I'm back here. The last time I fueled this page was last year. What's new? Same thing the usual. I'm still the sick me. How I wish I can tell myself, hey' I'm back from the normal person I am. The happy outgoing me. Actually, there is something new about me. I'm no longer the person who likes to go outside, instead, I'm becoming a cavewoman. The only place where I'm comfortable walking around in the center where I have my treatment. Since I was confined last April and June, my body became proportional, my face is kind of bloated and I'm having a hard time standing straight and even walking straight. I know that these are the changes you have once your body is no longer having the mutual understanding of all the components needed in your body. This year, my calcium was less, phosphorous is still high - when can I get this lower. I did a test for my iPTh and I've got 500 plus which is not as bad as they said but my body is gettin...

One words Day

I'm so inspired to write some poetry today. It's like words come right through me. But I'm not a good writer just like anybody. I'm just trying to be like one and will never stop writing as long as I live. Learning the basic is what I'm doing now. Inspired by those local and individual who loves to write. I have here two of my writings. I know its not constructed but that's poetry right? More misery in its words. I also discovered my new fave author though I haven't got a chance to read her book but read some of her passage and poems. And I'm looking forward to have her books. Anyway, here's my two piece of my written words. More writings from me.. Till then.

JustBhem

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