Look who's back with a BANG!

And I'm back here.
The last time I fueled this page was last year.
What's new? Same thing the usual.
I'm still the sick me.
How I wish I can tell myself, hey' I'm back from the normal person I am. The happy outgoing me.

Actually, there is something new about me.
I'm no longer the person who likes to go outside, instead, I'm becoming a cavewoman. The only place where I'm comfortable walking around in the center where I have my treatment. Since I was confined last April and June, my body became proportional, my face is kind of bloated and I'm having a hard time standing straight and even walking straight. I know that these are the changes you have once your body is no longer having the mutual understanding of all the components needed in your body. This year, my calcium was less, phosphorous is still high - when can I get this lower. I did a test for my iPTh and I've got 500 plus which is not as bad as they said but my body is getting weaker and I'm still having body ache.

Sometimes I'm thinking that this is the beginning of myself in a dying phase. Then I remove the thought and I keep myself believing that one day when I wake up, I will be okay and that God will heal me. That I can go one with this treatment as long as I'm okay. No more body aches and I can walk straight just like before.

I was too harsh, I know for not taking good care of myself but I'm thinking the other way. I always think of the other way.

By the way, here's a copy of myself.

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Celebrating Good Life at 30..

It was my 30th Birthday yesterday. I am so thankful I got this far and I know I will 30 years from now. I have that faith in me. So I celebrated my Birthday at home with my family of course. We shared good food,good drinks and good conversation as always. My father empress me by cooking my fave dishes. I was surprised by how they prepared me my birthday dinner. I am overwhelmed. I know that I am still their one and only PRINCESS. My brothers was there and some relatives as well. For me that was one of the special event in my life and I know more to come. After dinner my mother and I bought some ice cream and jelly roll for dessert and for the nephews and nieces. They like ice cream so much. When I was a kid I am a slacker for ice cream and now that I'm adult I don't like eating too much ice cream anymore. You know the thought that ice cream are for kids not for adults anymore. Do you agree with that? I agree lol. This time no cards and no flowers. I just remembe...

One words Day

I'm so inspired to write some poetry today. It's like words come right through me. But I'm not a good writer just like anybody. I'm just trying to be like one and will never stop writing as long as I live. Learning the basic is what I'm doing now. Inspired by those local and individual who loves to write. I have here two of my writings. I know its not constructed but that's poetry right? More misery in its words. I also discovered my new fave author though I haven't got a chance to read her book but read some of her passage and poems. And I'm looking forward to have her books. Anyway, here's my two piece of my written words. More writings from me.. Till then.

How it started.

When I decided to quit my 5-year job in a BPO company. I thought of working somewhere where I can excel. I have so many plans listed. And as a self-governing human being, being unemployed is not my cup of tea. I just can't sleep all day and not earning something. I need to remember I'm living in a boarding house that I need to pay plus the boyfriend is still studying. But I just can't get away with fun. So I decided to have fun first before applying for a new job. When I say fun, that means I need to sleep late. It's been going on after my first blood transfusion. Not knowing that I should have my follow up check up. Then, it was happening again. This time, I feel so dizzy. I always vomit. And I am having a headache every now and then. I never told the boyfriend about it at first because I'm afraid he might be worried about me again. Until he caught me vomiting in our room early morning. My head was too painful and the blurry vision is coming again. The boyfrien...

JustBhem

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