This would be my latest post after weeks of not responding to my hobbies. I've been very busy with my small business and I'm really having a hard time coping up. And since I don't have much orders today or inquiries, I will post about what happened today. Or should I say, what my thoughts about my mother.
I really don't understand my mother. I've been trying to come up with ideas on how to keep track of her misconception about being a mother and sad to say. None of them refers to her. I really want to stand and defend her but what she's doing is all wrong that's why my brothers have always something to say to her. I really don't like the idea of words throwing at her but she's very arrogant and abusive as well.
Mind this. She works only for herself and not for us. She always mind her own wants and not our needs as a family. Her being selfish somehow provoke us to dislike her and hating her. For the past years of being a mother, we never felt her love and care for us. She always think about what my father did to her in the past. I cannot blame my father for doing that to her because she was never a good wife to him. And as a young kid, I never felt she was a mother too.
My father was a good provider. He does all the works as the father. He always gave us what we want although we seldom sees him during dinner because he comes home very late. And even if he came home late he always bring snack for us. Unlike my mother who always gets jealous of the attention our father gave us. Especially to me. I remember they are having a fight because I asked father to buy me new school shoes but my mother disagree because she wants my old shoes to be fix in the shop. But my father always wins and I end up the bratty-spoiled princess.
My father is not perfect. But he makes sure that we have something to eat every day. He provides us with almost everything. My mother who know nothing but smirk and frowned. Thats the best she can do.
I know that my father has done her first heartbreak. But I cannot blame him because she was never liked. Mother got pregnant when my father was about to go somewhere, away from her. But my grandmother was the one who tie the knot for them. And because of that I was born, unhappy with what my parents has become. Unhappy for my brothers who gets the wrong way and end up having a family at a young age. And I felt sorry for them because I never saw them growing because mother's selfishness send me to live and worked with my grandmother. The same grandmother who ask them to get married.
I hate seeing my brother like this. No education. No diploma. No ambition. Nothing to defend. And bad thing, my mother wants them to earn money and work so that her responsibility disclose. See? How selfish she is???
I really want to understand her but what she's doing is not of a mother. More of like someone else who wants freedom for all the troubles she has from the past and from the future. She really never cared for us. She never love us. She hates us because we are the product of her wrong decision for having our father her husband. I understand the bad side now. She dont like us. She was never proud of us. And I'm so sorry for hating her much that I almost end up crying because of what my brothers has become. I love my brothers because we have the same thought about our mother. If only I could turn back the hands of time and be responsible as the eldest. I do that so that their lives would be better. But its too late. Damages has been done. We already hated her.
I really don't understand my mother. I've been trying to come up with ideas on how to keep track of her misconception about being a mother and sad to say. None of them refers to her. I really want to stand and defend her but what she's doing is all wrong that's why my brothers have always something to say to her. I really don't like the idea of words throwing at her but she's very arrogant and abusive as well.
Mind this. She works only for herself and not for us. She always mind her own wants and not our needs as a family. Her being selfish somehow provoke us to dislike her and hating her. For the past years of being a mother, we never felt her love and care for us. She always think about what my father did to her in the past. I cannot blame my father for doing that to her because she was never a good wife to him. And as a young kid, I never felt she was a mother too.
My father was a good provider. He does all the works as the father. He always gave us what we want although we seldom sees him during dinner because he comes home very late. And even if he came home late he always bring snack for us. Unlike my mother who always gets jealous of the attention our father gave us. Especially to me. I remember they are having a fight because I asked father to buy me new school shoes but my mother disagree because she wants my old shoes to be fix in the shop. But my father always wins and I end up the bratty-spoiled princess.
My father is not perfect. But he makes sure that we have something to eat every day. He provides us with almost everything. My mother who know nothing but smirk and frowned. Thats the best she can do.
I know that my father has done her first heartbreak. But I cannot blame him because she was never liked. Mother got pregnant when my father was about to go somewhere, away from her. But my grandmother was the one who tie the knot for them. And because of that I was born, unhappy with what my parents has become. Unhappy for my brothers who gets the wrong way and end up having a family at a young age. And I felt sorry for them because I never saw them growing because mother's selfishness send me to live and worked with my grandmother. The same grandmother who ask them to get married.
I hate seeing my brother like this. No education. No diploma. No ambition. Nothing to defend. And bad thing, my mother wants them to earn money and work so that her responsibility disclose. See? How selfish she is???
I really want to understand her but what she's doing is not of a mother. More of like someone else who wants freedom for all the troubles she has from the past and from the future. She really never cared for us. She never love us. She hates us because we are the product of her wrong decision for having our father her husband. I understand the bad side now. She dont like us. She was never proud of us. And I'm so sorry for hating her much that I almost end up crying because of what my brothers has become. I love my brothers because we have the same thought about our mother. If only I could turn back the hands of time and be responsible as the eldest. I do that so that their lives would be better. But its too late. Damages has been done. We already hated her.
Comments
Post a Comment