JustBhem

Feb 21, 2011 ( Monday ) I was awake, percieved by the light coming from the window. I get up then I feel the vexation. I sleep back thinking that it will cease at least a little. At 11:20 , I woke up again and this time its really annoying and so damn hurt. I feel my head is thumping wild harder. Then I was thinking that this is it. This is the day that I need to see the Doctor. I can't get up because of the dizziness I felt. Its harrowing and I can't even go down stairs to eat. Afternoon, I tried myself to be lull and familiarize the way home to my mother. Then at first I tried to be soothe and poise. A mother really knows there is something wrong with her siblings. My mother asked me, You dont look good, are you okay?. I said you can tell it mom that Im not okay and Im discontent. I was rushed to the near Hospital. As usual, nurses took VS thats what they called it. You know the thing get your Blood pressure and the work. I feel at least homey. My mother who was there and hi...

2010 is not so good to me.. not until I have him in my Life. I thought I may never be able to see life the way it should be. Then he came into my life without notice. Or maybe I already expected it to happen. Some say that he doesn't have the "It" compared to the first one. And I said who cares anyway? does it matter? why not giving him a chance to prove he is worth it to be given a chance to occupy my heart. Others says that he will give me heartaches and pain same as the first one. Then I said, then be it .. only then I can feel that I am human after all. For the past months of enjoying myself with the joy of being with somebody. I found my self stuck and I feel like theres no way for me to get Him out of my Life. Well, I can say maybe just for now.. teehee .. I dont know, we never can tell, right? I mean, theres no period for this. As long as Im enjoying the fun of being with Him, hurting of being so sensitive and impatient. I can say that this is the o...

Life is made up of some happy moments and some sad ones. Neither can one have a life that has only joyous moments, nor is it possible for you to have only grief in your life. Just like two sides of a coin, life also presents us with two sentiments - happiness and sorrow. It is how much are we able to revel in happiness and how quickly we get over the sorrow that decides how we live the moments in our life. While some people suffer from distress silently, others pen it down in words, thus trying to ease the pain a little. A sad thing in life is that sometimes you meet someone who means a lot to you only to find out in the end that it was never bound to be and you just have to let go. Life doesn't hurt until you think about how much things have changed, who you've lost along the way, and how much of it was your fault. Staying with someone you really love even if you know its better letting go is like standing under the rain…It felt so good but you know its not right... For all sa...

So its been 3 years now that I haven't got myself reunited with the pain anymore.  Though I know that the life I have i'll be still walking along with them. After the healing process. I feel so brand new. Its like a new life within me is pumping up for joy.  Yes! I'm into LOVE once again. I can say that life is indeed full of surprises.  For the past 7 months of defining life after death. I found happiness and fullness at the same time.  I am happy because someone makes me happy. I am smiling because someone makes me beautiful in my own way. Love thought me to be fair. That awful feeling is not lingering anymore. Its like I'm in full blossom once again.  I know that along with my stiff journey there would be a straight path to my contentment. I know its not gonna happen now but I believe one day I will. Its not gonna be easy but I will face it with him.  What I'm going to do now is to enjoy life's blessings with him. We'll enjoy life together....

I'm listening to Tori Amos, Sleeps with Butterflies. While listening, I found myself envisage that I'm no longer sleeping with butterflies anymore.  I'm no longer grasping the awful feeling of pain. Its like I am free of worries that pain wont hurt me anymore. I can now breathe the freshest air.  For the past 2 years, I can tell that I no longer seeing the appalling pieces of my shattered dreams. I'm so thankful for the new found freedom within me. Its like a free bird. A flower that wherever the wind blows that's where my petals falls.  There's more to life if you let yourself see it with your eyes wide open.  If someone hurt you, don't take it as if your life ends there. Everything happens for a reason, maybe that reason is for you to look at the blazing side of your own choice. Your own life. Life teaches us to be strong, to bend, to make use of our knowledge. Life is never easy, its always associated with pain. Just like your Mother gave birth to ...