JustBhem

Sunday : Sept 30, 2012, 1:36 AM and I'm still quite awake. Just got off from a gig and I'm tired but don't wan't to pull myself over to sleep.  I am happy. Yes! I can only say this because I am in the verge of being happy at the moment. The reason is, of course I have someone who never let me go despite of my difficulties. Yeah! I just said that I am happy now.  Though I can say that I am happy. I know that one day I'll be posting again some of my sadness. That's life Ups and Downs. Thinking of the past somehow let me realized that those were lesson that need to keep remembering. And those memories are worth it and priceless. I still have the ghost of the past and it still hunting me. I know that someday I may able to face it and deal with it someday.  One thing that makes me Happy is seeing my Family survived after all the break down. I so love them that it hurts me seeing them still fighting through the rough of life. I know that with those hopes and ...

Sept 01 2012 I just don't know what happen. I just found myself searching for a familiar song in Youtube. Then I found myself hovering my thoughts of the past then I sung the song so loud. I don't know if I'm gonna call myself a cheater. Because right at that moment I still remember the past that thought me to be brave. Is this possible? after a long years of surpassing those remarkable event in my life I still have that feeling of longing. That feeling of agonizing the pain. The feeling that I want to go back to the past. I still don't have an answer those bugging questions. Do I still love that person? That I still don't know the answer.

August 29 2012, Have you ever experienced that someone you know is a friend. Then it turned out to hate you for some lame reason? Then she talks behind your back and you know for yourself that you don't owe that person anything but friendship. For that Person, I really don't care if how much you hated me, on how you being a bitchy-bitch talking behind my back. All I can gave you is a nutty smile to show you how I really appreciated all those stabbing words you've said against me. I really don't give a shit! Its my very pleasure because you gave me one reason that for being a simple-unique kind of a person I am, there's someone " that's you " making it more fun to live my life other than bothering your wretched life.

I have been to many experiences and some of them I can hardly recall. Its like a splash of water in the river then it goes to the river bank. Nah. What am I talking here is about this feeling I am having right now. I know I shouldn't be bothering but why I act so stupid and think stupid. Well, this all about my future and my past. I know I shouldn't be bothering right? But who I am to stop it. It keeps coming back and I keep asking myself back and forth. Well, this is how it goes. It happen in a dream. When I was nearly sleeping when this guy (my ex) pops up right away in my mind. It just a bullet that hits me right there. He was with my dream out of nowhere and I didn't even think of him that day. They say that if a person ran's to your mind without you thinking of them meaning they think of you right at that time. It was like oh men! Not again. Then it keeps bothering me even this moment while I am writing this. Yeah! I know Is should't be, right? But I just can...

Have you ever been in world that only you can have the power to pull strings everything you want? Have you been to places at a time? In my 28 years of living my life I have been dreaming a lot. Whenever I am in a crowded place or even at work I always day dream. I just can't avoid it. Its like a sickness that's no cure. Sometimes I just found myself hanging on for a sec then back to reality. I even think of weird dreams too. I don't know if I can say its a dream though because I can do whatever I want to do with that thought. Well, I just found myself smiling and nodding for no reasons at all. Maybe I was born to be a dreamer.