the other side of me

I have been to many experiences and some of them I can hardly recall. Its like a splash of water in the river then it goes to the river bank. Nah. What am I talking here is about this feeling I am having right now. I know I shouldn't be bothering but why I act so stupid and think stupid. Well, this all about my future and my past. I know I shouldn't be bothering right? But who I am to stop it. It keeps coming back and I keep asking myself back and forth.

Well, this is how it goes. It happen in a dream. When I was nearly sleeping when this guy (my ex) pops up right away in my mind. It just a bullet that hits me right there. He was with my dream out of nowhere and I didn't even think of him that day. They say that if a person ran's to your mind without you thinking of them meaning they think of you right at that time. It was like oh men! Not again. Then it keeps bothering me even this moment while I am writing this. Yeah! I know Is should't be, right? But I just can't help my self not to think of him.

I prayed everyday that one day this thought will be over because I know it ain't right. But I guess I am just human though born to make mistake. I prayed too that this madness of thinking of him will be over. But. Nah! not this but again..

But I want to see him. That's it! I say it now. There is no way for me to lie. This is the only way I can say it loud without someone knowing about this. Maybe not to be with him but to know those answered questions I have in the past. I just want to know everything. I am not expecting for him to say those pretty words but just to know the answers. Oh God. I know I asked so many but I know you gave them slowly. I you've been so good to me. haist.. enough of this blodg.

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Celebrating Good Life at 30..

It was my 30th Birthday yesterday. I am so thankful I got this far and I know I will 30 years from now. I have that faith in me. So I celebrated my Birthday at home with my family of course. We shared good food,good drinks and good conversation as always. My father empress me by cooking my fave dishes. I was surprised by how they prepared me my birthday dinner. I am overwhelmed. I know that I am still their one and only PRINCESS. My brothers was there and some relatives as well. For me that was one of the special event in my life and I know more to come. After dinner my mother and I bought some ice cream and jelly roll for dessert and for the nephews and nieces. They like ice cream so much. When I was a kid I am a slacker for ice cream and now that I'm adult I don't like eating too much ice cream anymore. You know the thought that ice cream are for kids not for adults anymore. Do you agree with that? I agree lol. This time no cards and no flowers. I just remembe...

Look who's back with a BANG!

And I'm back here. The last time I fueled this page was last year. What's new? Same thing the usual. I'm still the sick me. How I wish I can tell myself, hey' I'm back from the normal person I am. The happy outgoing me. Actually, there is something new about me. I'm no longer the person who likes to go outside, instead, I'm becoming a cavewoman. The only place where I'm comfortable walking around in the center where I have my treatment. Since I was confined last April and June, my body became proportional, my face is kind of bloated and I'm having a hard time standing straight and even walking straight. I know that these are the changes you have once your body is no longer having the mutual understanding of all the components needed in your body. This year, my calcium was less, phosphorous is still high - when can I get this lower. I did a test for my iPTh and I've got 500 plus which is not as bad as they said but my body is gettin...

One words Day

I'm so inspired to write some poetry today. It's like words come right through me. But I'm not a good writer just like anybody. I'm just trying to be like one and will never stop writing as long as I live. Learning the basic is what I'm doing now. Inspired by those local and individual who loves to write. I have here two of my writings. I know its not constructed but that's poetry right? More misery in its words. I also discovered my new fave author though I haven't got a chance to read her book but read some of her passage and poems. And I'm looking forward to have her books. Anyway, here's my two piece of my written words. More writings from me.. Till then.

JustBhem

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