the other side of me

I have been to many experiences and some of them I can hardly recall. Its like a splash of water in the river then it goes to the river bank. Nah. What am I talking here is about this feeling I am having right now. I know I shouldn't be bothering but why I act so stupid and think stupid. Well, this all about my future and my past. I know I shouldn't be bothering right? But who I am to stop it. It keeps coming back and I keep asking myself back and forth.

Well, this is how it goes. It happen in a dream. When I was nearly sleeping when this guy (my ex) pops up right away in my mind. It just a bullet that hits me right there. He was with my dream out of nowhere and I didn't even think of him that day. They say that if a person ran's to your mind without you thinking of them meaning they think of you right at that time. It was like oh men! Not again. Then it keeps bothering me even this moment while I am writing this. Yeah! I know Is should't be, right? But I just can't help my self not to think of him.

I prayed everyday that one day this thought will be over because I know it ain't right. But I guess I am just human though born to make mistake. I prayed too that this madness of thinking of him will be over. But. Nah! not this but again..

But I want to see him. That's it! I say it now. There is no way for me to lie. This is the only way I can say it loud without someone knowing about this. Maybe not to be with him but to know those answered questions I have in the past. I just want to know everything. I am not expecting for him to say those pretty words but just to know the answers. Oh God. I know I asked so many but I know you gave them slowly. I you've been so good to me. haist.. enough of this blodg.

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Room Issues..

Father bear is almost done fixing my room. The only problem is the wall. I really need to do something to my wall because it will help me brighten up my day every time I wake up, but I'm having trouble which one should I pick. I was thinking of a rasta color room, that makes my room colorful and for sure it will spread good vibes. I also like sky blue and baby pink room, more like of a teen though. Anyway, I have some photos here that might help me choose the best before going any further.. This is how it will look like if in case I want to paint it like this. It's awesome! It will really describe me being a fan of rasta culture. Don't mind the bed because I can't afford it, just imagine the color of the wall. It looks refreshing, right? It will help me probably to enlighten my day in case bad vibes is about to open. What say you? The last one is this, baby pink color wall. So girly, and teen spirited atmosphere. Again, don't mind the bed,...

I take the survey again .................

What hairstyle should I have .... pin straight hair with bangs You are some one who likes a look that can go from work to casual to party. You are cool with a great look and you like to be different look then others. THIS IS AWESOME AND COOL!!!!! LOVE THIS ....

Overflowing

It must be great if I am, but I'm not. Now I believe I was born for this. Health is always been an issue to me since last year. I thought this year will give me luck, unfortunately it's still the same as last year. I mean I can easily get cough and flu, and the worst is, it will never get easily be treated. Like it will last a week or two. Also money issue. Of course it is. I should be happy because I can get help from my Fraternity but it's not enough. I mean if you sum it up it's not enough for my daily medications. And it doesn't mean I am not thankful. I am. Okay. One of my friend stop her assistant for me. It makes me sad because it helps a lot, and I do understand her. She also need to feed her family here. Now I don't know how to start. I'm thinking to go back to work. Maybe that's the last thing I need to do, to supply my needs and my treatment. For now I still need to get this bloated tummy away first before I hit the ran way.

JustBhem

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