the other side of me

I have been to many experiences and some of them I can hardly recall. Its like a splash of water in the river then it goes to the river bank. Nah. What am I talking here is about this feeling I am having right now. I know I shouldn't be bothering but why I act so stupid and think stupid. Well, this all about my future and my past. I know I shouldn't be bothering right? But who I am to stop it. It keeps coming back and I keep asking myself back and forth.

Well, this is how it goes. It happen in a dream. When I was nearly sleeping when this guy (my ex) pops up right away in my mind. It just a bullet that hits me right there. He was with my dream out of nowhere and I didn't even think of him that day. They say that if a person ran's to your mind without you thinking of them meaning they think of you right at that time. It was like oh men! Not again. Then it keeps bothering me even this moment while I am writing this. Yeah! I know Is should't be, right? But I just can't help my self not to think of him.

I prayed everyday that one day this thought will be over because I know it ain't right. But I guess I am just human though born to make mistake. I prayed too that this madness of thinking of him will be over. But. Nah! not this but again..

But I want to see him. That's it! I say it now. There is no way for me to lie. This is the only way I can say it loud without someone knowing about this. Maybe not to be with him but to know those answered questions I have in the past. I just want to know everything. I am not expecting for him to say those pretty words but just to know the answers. Oh God. I know I asked so many but I know you gave them slowly. I you've been so good to me. haist.. enough of this blodg.