JustBhem

I have been to many experiences and some of them I can hardly recall. Its like a splash of water in the river then it goes to the river bank. Nah. What am I talking here is about this feeling I am having right now. I know I shouldn't be bothering but why I act so stupid and think stupid. Well, this all about my future and my past. I know I shouldn't be bothering right? But who I am to stop it. It keeps coming back and I keep asking myself back and forth. Well, this is how it goes. It happen in a dream. When I was nearly sleeping when this guy (my ex) pops up right away in my mind. It just a bullet that hits me right there. He was with my dream out of nowhere and I didn't even think of him that day. They say that if a person ran's to your mind without you thinking of them meaning they think of you right at that time. It was like oh men! Not again. Then it keeps bothering me even this moment while I am writing this. Yeah! I know Is should't be, right? But I just can...

Have you ever been in world that only you can have the power to pull strings everything you want? Have you been to places at a time? In my 28 years of living my life I have been dreaming a lot. Whenever I am in a crowded place or even at work I always day dream. I just can't avoid it. Its like a sickness that's no cure. Sometimes I just found myself hanging on for a sec then back to reality. I even think of weird dreams too. I don't know if I can say its a dream though because I can do whatever I want to do with that thought. Well, I just found myself smiling and nodding for no reasons at all. Maybe I was born to be a dreamer.

I still remember the pain. The pain that caused me so much hurting. A pock that always keep remembering. I can't deny myself by just simply filling up the vast void memories that I once kept. Memories that I still long to get back. Life is so erratic. It will give you different emotions that us human cannot resist. Fate that is very enticing yet avoidable. I am living all my life in silence and with God as my best friend of all. He knew all my suffering. I know with God around me I will be safe. I am hoping that after this enigmatic feeling I will be okay. I just let it pass.

I am hateful. I cuss. I can get easily pissed. I am a troubled bitch. I can talk shit right in front of some poker face without their knowing. I am what I am. I know myself than what others story. I know when and where I can get knowledge of what's going around me. I am such a cry baby. I can be the very sweet person you can be but also it depends on what type of person I get along. This is myself and I. No one, nobody can ever take that away from me.

I really love being alive. I can eat my favorite icecream,watching fireworks,raising your hands on rollercoaster,getting good grades you work hard for,childhood memories,going on a long walks,singing your heart out,dancing forhours,climb the highest peak,walking barefoot in the sand,your first jump in pool in the summer,shopping and buying your new clothes,facebook creeping,waking up in the morning,being texted first,listening to a meaningful song or lyrics,go on for a family trips,long summer nights,listening to the sound of the rain,wearing my chuck shoes in the office,loving the color red,green and yellow,swimming,wonderful world,whispering,hugging the one you love,having a long walks with him,wanderlust,when you know someone likes you too,that one person you can talk to about everything,sleeping for more than 10 hours,knowing the 7 new wonders of nature,seeing a new life born,watching the 80's movies,wearing bracelets and anklets,being inked,piercings,fishtail braids,dreaming o...