JustBhem

I kind of feel sad at the moment. I was trying to get back with sleep but looks like sleep left me for a while. The boyfriend hasn't messaged me back, maybe he was having fun with our mutual friends and to think he has work tomorrow. I feel exhausted and I finished my task right before my head strikes to burn. I get a nap of like 20 minutes and I'm awake again. I still heard my relatives still talking at this hour, looks like they are having some Family meeting. Since I hate going to the bathroom for the 3rd time, I took an antimotility tablet which helps me a lot. Back to being sad. While I was having my nap, my Mother's face appears in my thoughts. She looks so sad and I feel so sad too. And it got me to wonder why is she sad? When she is good at pretending and she is a big fat lier. Aside from that, it makes me think what's with her experiences that makes her not loving us? As far as I remember, one thing I like about her is when she comb my hair while I w...

It's 2:10 in the morning and I'm still wide awake.  I've been changing websites from myLot to another.  I know I am bothered with something and I just can't explain it.  I have no one to talk to except answering my responses to myLot.  And I know, nobody cares how I feel at the moment.  This week, I and the boyfriend had a scheduled visit with my Nephro Doctor in one her new office. Thank God, no one was around when we came in meaning we have the Doctor in our time. She noticed my hair which is very long and she wants me to cut it because it's taking away my calcium. I didn't bring my lab because by the next day we will have our monthly laboratory anyway but I know my stats so I let her know.  Based on the stats I open to her, she said that my PTH level is high and I should take medicines for that which I already did. I also shared to her that I have reaction from taking the medicine so she advises me not take it, instead I will have calcium for 3 ...

I thought my first ever confinement this year will be the end. But I didn't see it coming. It was April when I had my after-a-long time of not having one. So I was too positive that no more injection and incarceration. I was wrong. So I tried as much as possible not to get exposed again. But people around me are not very careful when it comes to their well being. I heard my Mother having a hard cough. It was awful. I told her that the next time she will have a cough she needs to have it check and ask for medication in the center. But she is such a hard-headed kind of person who does not listen. It was June, one month before my Birthday. The first week of the month when I have a fever again. I was having a hard cough and since it was a hard cough, I have cramps manifested in my right rib cage. It was too painful that I couldn't breathe. It was a rainy afternoon. I was crying with pain and panicking. My Mother tried to comfort me but I said no, you are not helping me so I ha...

I know that the people in my house are having some kind of virus attack. But I didn't bother to wear a mask for my protection. I was too overconfident that I won't get any of those. So, I hang around in the living room to watch TV. Not knowing that my Mother will sneeze in front of me. I was terrified. Because as much as possible, I don't really like to get sick. Moments later after that sneeze. I have a hard feeling of knowing what's going on with me. Suddenly a clear snot drop in my nose. And followed by a prickly throat. Then I started coughing. I thought it will just pass me by. I check my temperature and guess what, I have a fever. I tried to have a remedy for it by taking a medicine. I was too weak to even stand and watch movies like I always do. Then I fall asleep. At exactly 5 in the morning, I woke up and feel cold. I was too hot and barely can't stand at all because I feel so heavy and I feel so weak. That virus that came from my Mother was too deadly...