Skip to main content

Me talking about life..

My life is never been easy. Like, I can die now and revive later kind of thing. That I can be okay and later on I'm not. I cannot predict what will happen next. I'm afraid. So afraid then I will try my best not to feel afraid. I know death will come to me. It can be now or tomorrow or the next day. Who knows?

That is why being happy at the moment with those people near to me is the best remedy for keeping me alive. I am not always like this very sentimental but this sickness taught me a lot. That I needed to be strong for the people who prayed and cared for me. For the people who loved me and never hesitated to make me feel special. To that one person who is my source of strength.

I really don't care about what other people say. But hey' I'm not that insensitive though. Sometimes I feel all eyes are in me. Because I have a huge viens in my right hand that I look like a monster to other kids. But who cares? I can forgive kids because I know they have this very curious and playful minds but other people who always talks about me. Nah. They don't know pain yet. But I don't pray for them to be like this. I hope that they will make their lives better.

Seriously. It annoys me. You know whenever I see statuses about how grateful they are having a good partner, who always give them their likes. OMG! To note they are not yet in the half way of a glorious relationship. Like I can post a comment and tell them 'DAGHAN PAMO UG MAAGIAN!' but I cannot because I don't want to spoil their life with my bitterness kind of thing.

I mean I'm talking about life here, right? We can be ourselves. We can do better and be bitter at times because we are just human. We can say whatever we want to say. Life is also about pleasuring yourself with good and bad stuff. We can do it both. Throwing bad words to people which is you feel good about it. I know its bad but again, we are human. We are born to make mistakes. And mistakes sometimes serve us lesson.

Okay. I don't know where these coming from. I don't know if it's me talking or the one that is sick. Anyway. No one tries to read this so who cares!

Its better to fill this portion here. :)


What say you?



xoxo
Bhem ♡♡♡



Do I look better here?  By the way I love the checkered and the nerdy look thingy. 



Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Korean Historic Drama : Empress Ki..

For five days of not having a connection from internet, I went on buying the full episode of korean's historic drama 'Empress Ki'. I watched it for 4 days in a row and mom was furious checking our electricity bill. Anyway, the story gyrated when a simple girl from Koryo become the Empress of the Yuan Dynasty,  and before she achieve the throne, she needs to by pass those people who battle her to reign the throne. It was a 51 episode and every episode consumed an hour, so imagine my mom's furious eyes. This is the first time I took a chance to watch a korean historic drama. I really don't like history, especially the dress and how they dress. When father bear asked me to buy the full episode and watched it, I got hooked up and never want to end the story. And to my surprised. I finished watching it. These are the characters from the Korean's Historic Drama 'Empress Ki'. Empress Ki or Sung Nyang Ki. Played by Ha Ji Won. Togon Temur, the...

One words Day

I'm so inspired to write some poetry today. It's like words come right through me. But I'm not a good writer just like anybody. I'm just trying to be like one and will never stop writing as long as I live. Learning the basic is what I'm doing now. Inspired by those local and individual who loves to write. I have here two of my writings. I know its not constructed but that's poetry right? More misery in its words. I also discovered my new fave author though I haven't got a chance to read her book but read some of her passage and poems. And I'm looking forward to have her books. Anyway, here's my two piece of my written words. More writings from me.. Till then. 

Look who's back with a BANG!

And I'm back here.  The last time I fueled this page was last year.  What's new? Same thing the usual.  I'm still the sick me.  How I wish I can tell myself, hey' I'm back from the normal person I am. The happy outgoing me.  Actually, there is something new about me.  I'm no longer the person who likes to go outside, instead, I'm becoming a cavewoman.  The only place where I'm comfortable walking around in the center where I have my treatment. Since I was confined last April and June, my body became proportional, my face is kind of bloated and I'm having a hard time standing straight and even walking straight. I know that these are the changes you have once your body is no longer having the mutual understanding of all the components needed in your body. This year, my calcium was less, phosphorous is still high - when can I get this lower. I did a test for my iPTh and I've got 500 plus which is not as bad as they said but my body is gettin...