JustBhem

Once a upon a time, there was Nai and Tai.  Nai is young, not pretty or ugly, joyful, friendly, bubbly, high spirited girl.  Tai is young too, smart, dedicated, friendly, handsome and tall.  They met during Nai's 1st year in college, and Tai is second year in college. Nai got Tai's attention during ROTC reception when Nai was called by one of the superior.  That's how it was all started.  Tai went to Nai's room to check on her everyday.  Then one night Tai asked Nai to be his girlfriend.  On Nai's Birthday they became lovers instantly.  They we're both happy sharing moments like forever. Tai is very much in love to Nai.  He wrote poems to Nai and tell how he's very delightful of her being his girlfriend.  Trials came into their relationship.  Tai is very sad when Nai broke up with her.  Its not that Nai doesn't love Tai anymore it just that circumstances need them to be apart.  Tai tried every thing to win...

So its one of those another not-so-ordinary day for me, where I can write my sentiments without someone bothering me. Time check is 12:30 AM. Earlier today, we went to church to attend a Sunday mass to praise. Finally! The long wait is over because I convinced him to go to church. I should be happy and bless because of that. Anyway, All I wanted is to write this awful feeling I have in this very moment. So its like this.  I met Ian way back college days or as far as I remember. I already noticed him that night when my ex-best friend introduced me to him. You know that typical guy who you think is shy because he is like that, that because he was stoned that time. He was long haired then, wearing a very tight pants that looks like a gangsters. That's how I described him before. Since then we used to be together, of course with other friends too. I'm so fond of the friendship I have with them. During that time, I have a boyfriend and I don't know much of Ian's personal ...

I'm responsible for my actions. Whatever words I utter I am responsible. I'm not blaming anyone for saying those words. I have all the right and I know I am in the position to get mad. I'm also the victim of this charade which some people are playing like a pro.  Everyone like me deserve to tell the truth and they need to listen. I'm not just other people.  I'm one of them.  Its saddened me after what I heard from someone I always look up to not just when I was a kid, even when I'm this age. I always prayed for his safety. The idea of having a perfect family is washed away by how many tears I shed last night. Its hurting me until now. But I promised myself I wont cry this time. It will not gonna help me moving on.  Its so easy to forgive as for me, but its too hard to forget everything that has been said and done. The lies coming from someone who uses someone to save herself from being judge.  Its really frustrating me that I've trust them long ...

I stayed all day thinking what to write. Since I'm kinda sad so I need to embrace the moment writing the what looks like to be an awful realization that this so called "my past" keeps invading my thought. Yes! He is! By the way, there's no internet connection while writing this piece. So I'm afraid it will not be publish or maybe later.  He sometimes comes in my dreams, like we used to be together.  He invades my troubled thought whenever I feel like crying.  Why? Why is it always comes whenever I feel defeated or alone? Why? when in fact I could not see him in flesh, or hold him next to me.  Its just a sad realization that I'm just messing my mind for all the troubles I have.  I know this ain't right because I have the other one, the future I may call.  Is this normal? Or what?! Oh by the way, the internet connection is back now and I think I will publish this one in a moment.  Is this called cheating? or am I damned again for loving someo...

Bhem You are the apple of my eyes Even if apples were the cause of sin You are the flower that so nice Even if your thorns hurts me within.  You are the sweetest lover And your sweetness caresses my heart You are the perfect kisser And your kisses gives me an art Though the love that we have Is a fault for them But I hope from above It's okay for Him. And if our Love turn to ashes I'll always remember your Love, Hugs and Kisses And though our hearts far from each other I will love you B-H-E-M now and forever.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  Lovely Lady C aresses that I've offered to thee H eartily given with no lie A nd the joyfulness that we taste and see T hrough the days that ...

It was my 30th Birthday yesterday. I am so thankful I got this far and I know I will 30 years from now. I have that faith in me.  So I celebrated my Birthday at home with my family of course. We shared good food,good drinks and good conversation as always. My father empress me by cooking my fave dishes. I was surprised by how they prepared me my birthday dinner. I am overwhelmed. I know that I am still their one and only PRINCESS. My brothers was there and some relatives as well. For me that was one of the special event in my life and I know more to come.  After dinner my mother and I bought some ice cream and jelly roll for dessert and for the nephews and nieces. They like ice cream so much. When I was a kid I am a slacker for ice cream and now that I'm adult I don't like eating too much ice cream anymore. You know the thought that ice cream are for kids not for adults anymore. Do you agree with that? I agree lol.  This time no cards and no flowers. I just remembe...

2007 has been by far the worst and tragic year for me. I did pick up some learning along the way though. I learned that how much someone had love you they can still hurt you, cut the very soul of you and what distressing the most is, hated you for no unclouded reasons.  It was too long for me to fully recover and realized that you have to +Love yourself more. I'm just to naive of the feeling of loving someone. Dreamed of such a Fairy tale kind of story. But I'm no Cinderella or Sleeping Beauty for that matter. The idea of loving myself more and that I need to be strong etched forever.  I lure myself of pleasing every one to like me, to get along with them is the most annoying part for me. But that Idea washed away because I know damn well my limitations. I'm still into healing process. The scars are still fresh. Entertaining what they call Love is bootless for me. And I'm always guarded with boundaries.  I gained more friends without asking them for sympathy. I ...

I quote.. Real Love is not based on romance, candle light dinner and walks along the beach. In fact, is based on respect, compromise, care and trust..  Here I am again. Thinking of what to write. And it falls down to something sad. But not this time. I want to write about my guy. LoL. Crazy! Yeah! Right! I wanna write something about my guy. I'm so excited. Same feeling when I was so young. A teeny-booper. And you know what? I'm a slacker for a handsome guy and I always keep dreaming of my Prince Charming when I was young. And that Prince Charming is not working anymore with me now. Because I already found my Soul Mate instead. Will you describe your guy in just one word? A lot of people been asking me that.  And all I can say is. He rocks my world. Nothing more and nothing less. LoL.  Let me tell you something about him.  He is cool to be with. For one of the coolest person I know. He got my heart frozen. Hehe. He always makes me laugh like all the time whe...

" Forever is a long time but I wouldn't mind spending it by your side.. "  Many of us dream of a wonderful beginning and end up in an awful ending. In my part, I have been to many heart aching moments. And most of them I already forgotten. That means, I'm all healed by time. Partly because of someone who helped me make it up to myself and be who I am at the same time.  This year, I want to start the year with happy moments with him. All I want to is to be happy for the rest of the year. I want to cherish every details of what we have for now. Though life for us right now is kinda not okay not but through determination and perseverance. I know with him by my side. Everything will be running smoothly and in phase.  So thankful that after all the pain and struggle of looking for a new life. I already found him but to late to figured it that the one I'm searching for is just near me. Too close. Too near. They say, you can only found the one for you when y...