Blast from the Past..

2007 has been by far the worst and tragic year for me. I did pick up some learning along the way though. I learned that how much someone had love you they can still hurt you, cut the very soul of you and what distressing the most is, hated you for no unclouded reasons.

It was too long for me to fully recover and realized that you have to +Love yourself more. I'm just to naive of the feeling of loving someone. Dreamed of such a Fairy tale kind of story. But I'm no Cinderella or Sleeping Beauty for that matter. The idea of loving myself more and that I need to be strong etched forever.

I lure myself of pleasing every one to like me, to get along with them is the most annoying part for me. But that Idea washed away because I know damn well my limitations. I'm still into healing process. The scars are still fresh. Entertaining what they call Love is bootless for me. And I'm always guarded with boundaries.

I gained more friends without asking them for sympathy. I gained love and respect from my +Family which is my sole inspiration to moved on and lived my life to the fullest. They did not ask me instead understand my silence and rejection to talk things out. Getting reunited with that vivacious feeling is so overwhelming. After all I'm still blessed. I can wear my pretty smile again, laugh out loud. I am back to being me. I know my journey is yet to come. I can feel my heart utterly pounding for joy. Scars are still hurting though but not too much anymore. Those scars are part of me, a lesson best learned from the Past..

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Celebrating Good Life at 30..

It was my 30th Birthday yesterday. I am so thankful I got this far and I know I will 30 years from now. I have that faith in me. So I celebrated my Birthday at home with my family of course. We shared good food,good drinks and good conversation as always. My father empress me by cooking my fave dishes. I was surprised by how they prepared me my birthday dinner. I am overwhelmed. I know that I am still their one and only PRINCESS. My brothers was there and some relatives as well. For me that was one of the special event in my life and I know more to come. After dinner my mother and I bought some ice cream and jelly roll for dessert and for the nephews and nieces. They like ice cream so much. When I was a kid I am a slacker for ice cream and now that I'm adult I don't like eating too much ice cream anymore. You know the thought that ice cream are for kids not for adults anymore. Do you agree with that? I agree lol. This time no cards and no flowers. I just remembe...

Look who's back with a BANG!

And I'm back here. The last time I fueled this page was last year. What's new? Same thing the usual. I'm still the sick me. How I wish I can tell myself, hey' I'm back from the normal person I am. The happy outgoing me. Actually, there is something new about me. I'm no longer the person who likes to go outside, instead, I'm becoming a cavewoman. The only place where I'm comfortable walking around in the center where I have my treatment. Since I was confined last April and June, my body became proportional, my face is kind of bloated and I'm having a hard time standing straight and even walking straight. I know that these are the changes you have once your body is no longer having the mutual understanding of all the components needed in your body. This year, my calcium was less, phosphorous is still high - when can I get this lower. I did a test for my iPTh and I've got 500 plus which is not as bad as they said but my body is gettin...

One words Day

I'm so inspired to write some poetry today. It's like words come right through me. But I'm not a good writer just like anybody. I'm just trying to be like one and will never stop writing as long as I live. Learning the basic is what I'm doing now. Inspired by those local and individual who loves to write. I have here two of my writings. I know its not constructed but that's poetry right? More misery in its words. I also discovered my new fave author though I haven't got a chance to read her book but read some of her passage and poems. And I'm looking forward to have her books. Anyway, here's my two piece of my written words. More writings from me.. Till then.

JustBhem

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