So its one of those another not-so-ordinary day for me, where I can write my sentiments without someone bothering me. Time check is 12:30 AM. Earlier today, we went to church to attend a Sunday mass to praise. Finally! The long wait is over because I convinced him to go to church. I should be happy and bless because of that. Anyway, All I wanted is to write this awful feeling I have in this very moment. So its like this.
I met Ian way back college days or as far as I remember. I already noticed him that night when my ex-best friend introduced me to him. You know that typical guy who you think is shy because he is like that, that because he was stoned that time. He was long haired then, wearing a very tight pants that looks like a gangsters. That's how I described him before. Since then we used to be together, of course with other friends too. I'm so fond of the friendship I have with them. During that time, I have a boyfriend and I don't know much of Ian's personal details. I didn't bother because I was too busy with other stuff too.
When my boyfriend of 8 years broke up with me. Ian is the only friend I can be with since he's the only friend near me. I used to tell him about how my relationship with my boyfriend finally want to end it. I was like struggling for someone to be with me to at least lessen the pain inside me. I needed someone to talk to and to cry to. He was there. He never take advantage of me being so naive that time of my life. He was a friend then. I thanked him for being a good company every time I needed him.
Love is beaten me very hard. I thought no one will ever like me. Though I am happy because I can do things in my own will. But having someone to call my own, someone to care for me, to love is haunting me. I waited and pray.
Ian came to me and confessed me his feelings for me. God answered my prayer. He never failed to listen. Since I know Ian so well, I finally said yes to him. It is a good relationship that started of us being friends. He is my best friend.
We are now on its 4th year. I always wanted to have a harmonious relationship with him though sometimes I'm complicating things. We broke up and get back again. We sometimes hated each other every time we argued on some petty things. Then later on we share the same bed and in the morning forget things like nothing happened. But I can't keep myself being so skeptical about it. Whatever it is in my mind. I always write it and read it for me to be able to get answer. It works that way for me.
In having a relationship with others, more important is to understand each other, gotta have that good conversation without end up in a stupid arguments. Learn to accept each weaknesses, each flaws, each differences. Love each other.
God is never perfect so are we.
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