Out of the wind it goes..

I stayed all day thinking what to write. Since I'm kinda sad so I need to embrace the moment writing the what looks like to be an awful realization that this so called "my past" keeps invading my thought. Yes! He is! By the way, there's no internet connection while writing this piece. So I'm afraid it will not be publish or maybe later.

He sometimes comes in my dreams, like we used to be together.
He invades my troubled thought whenever I feel like crying.
Why? Why is it always comes whenever I feel defeated or alone?
Why? when in fact I could not see him in flesh, or hold him next to me.
Its just a sad realization that I'm just messing my mind for all the troubles I have.

I know this ain't right because I have the other one, the future I may call.
Is this normal? Or what?!
Oh by the way, the internet connection is back now and I think I will publish this one in a moment.

Is this called cheating? or am I damned again for loving someone who used to loved me and forgot me for all the pain I've caused him. =(
I can't stand the emotions occupying me now.
It feels like I want to run until I'm tired.
I want to cry out loud.

I just cant stand in anymore.
I prayed almost every night to wash away this sadness I'm feeling.
God knows I love my future, God knows too I love my past.
It just I'm terribly feel so alone and sad.
Melancholy succumb me tonight.

Bhem 08

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