Out of the wind it goes..

I stayed all day thinking what to write. Since I'm kinda sad so I need to embrace the moment writing the what looks like to be an awful realization that this so called "my past" keeps invading my thought. Yes! He is! By the way, there's no internet connection while writing this piece. So I'm afraid it will not be publish or maybe later.

He sometimes comes in my dreams, like we used to be together.
He invades my troubled thought whenever I feel like crying.
Why? Why is it always comes whenever I feel defeated or alone?
Why? when in fact I could not see him in flesh, or hold him next to me.
Its just a sad realization that I'm just messing my mind for all the troubles I have.

I know this ain't right because I have the other one, the future I may call.
Is this normal? Or what?!
Oh by the way, the internet connection is back now and I think I will publish this one in a moment.

Is this called cheating? or am I damned again for loving someone who used to loved me and forgot me for all the pain I've caused him. =(
I can't stand the emotions occupying me now.
It feels like I want to run until I'm tired.
I want to cry out loud.

I just cant stand in anymore.
I prayed almost every night to wash away this sadness I'm feeling.
God knows I love my future, God knows too I love my past.
It just I'm terribly feel so alone and sad.
Melancholy succumb me tonight.

Bhem 08

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Celebrating Good Life at 30..

It was my 30th Birthday yesterday. I am so thankful I got this far and I know I will 30 years from now. I have that faith in me. So I celebrated my Birthday at home with my family of course. We shared good food,good drinks and good conversation as always. My father empress me by cooking my fave dishes. I was surprised by how they prepared me my birthday dinner. I am overwhelmed. I know that I am still their one and only PRINCESS. My brothers was there and some relatives as well. For me that was one of the special event in my life and I know more to come. After dinner my mother and I bought some ice cream and jelly roll for dessert and for the nephews and nieces. They like ice cream so much. When I was a kid I am a slacker for ice cream and now that I'm adult I don't like eating too much ice cream anymore. You know the thought that ice cream are for kids not for adults anymore. Do you agree with that? I agree lol. This time no cards and no flowers. I just remembe...

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THANK YOU...

Its been awhile since I haven't written anything here. After taking time to open this blog, it reminds me that I need to fill up the space. To start with. Actually I don't know where I should start. Anyway, I didn't know how it happened. It just happened so fast like a lightning bolt. There was me and there was him. Do I need to say more? Such a wonderful year to start with my new life. Having someone who can fill up the space in your heart is such a blessing. Who says that God wont hear our prayers? He answered mine. My God didn't forsaken me after all what I've been through. For all the troubles I have from the past it pays a lot if you're patient enough to pray. For whatever reason answered my prayers, I will forever cherish. Bhem08

JustBhem

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