Celebrating Good Life at 30..

" Loving someone is like kissing the rain and embracing the sun. Its like heaven. " - Bhem -

I experienced love and being loved in return. They all been so wonderful. But unlike those stories in the fairy tale, mine don't have a happy ending. 

When I asked God to have him. I was the happiest girl in my age. I thanked God for granted me prayers. It was so soon though. I always gave thanks everyday because I'm so happy.

Our story is the unique of all the love stories I have. We are friends that turned to me be more than that. Everybody loves what we have become some other criticize but I don't give a dime. I was too blinded of the fact that I am happy, that I am contented of I have. 
Months passed and years fading. For 2 long years of being together we argued on simple things though we keep up after the fight. All I can think is its nature for lovers to experienced ups and downs in a relationship. We developed hating each other.

I got pregnant. That was the most happiest moment in my existence. I thanked God again for giving me the man that will make me a woman and a mother. But not too soon, that happiness fades and turned into anger and pain. I lost that precious human being in my womb, that gift of life. I was shattered into million pieces. Then we start to argue again on things that don't matters. I got easily pissed off, throw words that can't eat. I easily got mad and irritated. And things are never be the same again. 

Months passed I felt his coldness towards me but I still feel his love. I can't feel his warmth embrace anymore. His desiring kiss that I longed for. We seldom making love for that matter. If it does, only once or twice a month. I keep asking myself why do I need to feel this loneliness again? And because I am just human. The thought of maybe he has someone new came to my thoughts. I am so furious to know what he is hiding.  

At this very moment. I am writing this because I feel I need to set him free. I am so selfish no doubt about that. If loving someone that much and if all I want is to stay close to him caused him so much trouble then I need to let him go. This is what I hated the most. Let go of the one you love. 

I am broken to pieces.