Skip to main content

Miss Ian badly

You know what I'm thinking at the moment? Oh how I really like to take all these three antibacterial tablets infront of me. So that these bacteria causes my wound to itch and painful will gone. This is really stressing me out. I've been crying the whole time because of this. Sometimes I want to end my misery by taking all the tablets I have. It would be more painless, I guess. But thinking about my beloved Ian makes me want to cry more and out loud. I want to lean on his shoulder and ask a hug from him just to, at least washed this painful wound out of my mind.

I know asking God of what I've been through is not a good idea, but I asked Him anyway. I asked him to, somehow make these wound painless and not itchy and gone forever. I really want to be normal again even if I have this chronic illness. I want to live more without these painful wounds. Without itchyness.

I'm still crying. Because I miss Ian badly. Because of these wounds that causes me to miss Ian badly. Because of my dry skin. I miss him badly. We talked awhile ago and he's out again to serve or probably resting by now. Hays. Hopefull he will message me again and talk to him how bad my day is.

Gonna end this. Phone is low batt now.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Korean Historic Drama : Empress Ki..

For five days of not having a connection from internet, I went on buying the full episode of korean's historic drama 'Empress Ki'. I watched it for 4 days in a row and mom was furious checking our electricity bill. Anyway, the story gyrated when a simple girl from Koryo become the Empress of the Yuan Dynasty,  and before she achieve the throne, she needs to by pass those people who battle her to reign the throne. It was a 51 episode and every episode consumed an hour, so imagine my mom's furious eyes. This is the first time I took a chance to watch a korean historic drama. I really don't like history, especially the dress and how they dress. When father bear asked me to buy the full episode and watched it, I got hooked up and never want to end the story. And to my surprised. I finished watching it. These are the characters from the Korean's Historic Drama 'Empress Ki'. Empress Ki or Sung Nyang Ki. Played by Ha Ji Won. Togon Temur, the...
Post a Comment
Read more

Bored or Not, I still write..

Whenever I felt that I am the worst human being to experienced Life cruelties, I pray hard, that, if only, I could save other people from their own suffering, I will carry them myself but I'm not Jesus. I don't have the will to do that. I'm just human who are still suffering from life's fairness. You may say I am being bored for what is written here but I am on my own sanity. I just love to write and let go of my thoughts for somebody who will accidentally  try to read all of my life's dramas. Who knows, they may find answers or maybe enlightenment for their own miseries. Hopefully. Or maybe a laughing porgatory (for being dull). I know my writings are not somehow like a pro but definitely people will understand them, and if not, then try to look for more meaningful blogs ahead. So what are you waiting for? Tired of reading? Kidding. Stay. Please.. Okay, the thought about this post is how my day today is about to end. I did nothing the whole day but to keep...
Post a Comment
Read more

Overflowing

It must be great if I am, but I'm not. Now I believe I was born for this. Health is always been an issue to me since last year. I thought this year will give me luck, unfortunately it's still the same as last year. I mean I can easily get cough and flu, and the worst is, it will never get easily be treated. Like it will last a week or two. Also money issue. Of course it is. I should be happy because I can get help from my Fraternity but it's not enough. I mean if you sum it up it's not enough for my daily medications. And it doesn't mean I am not thankful. I am. Okay. One of my friend stop her assistant for me. It makes me sad because it helps a lot, and I do understand her. She also need to feed her family here. Now I don't know how to start. I'm thinking to go back to work. Maybe that's the last thing I need to do, to supply my needs and my treatment. For now I still need to get this bloated tummy away first before I hit the ran way. 
Post a Comment
Read more