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Miss Ian badly

You know what I'm thinking at the moment? Oh how I really like to take all these three antibacterial tablets infront of me. So that these bacteria causes my wound to itch and painful will gone. This is really stressing me out. I've been crying the whole time because of this. Sometimes I want to end my misery by taking all the tablets I have. It would be more painless, I guess. But thinking about my beloved Ian makes me want to cry more and out loud. I want to lean on his shoulder and ask a hug from him just to, at least washed this painful wound out of my mind.

I know asking God of what I've been through is not a good idea, but I asked Him anyway. I asked him to, somehow make these wound painless and not itchy and gone forever. I really want to be normal again even if I have this chronic illness. I want to live more without these painful wounds. Without itchyness.

I'm still crying. Because I miss Ian badly. Because of these wounds that causes me to miss Ian badly. Because of my dry skin. I miss him badly. We talked awhile ago and he's out again to serve or probably resting by now. Hays. Hopefull he will message me again and talk to him how bad my day is.

Gonna end this. Phone is low batt now.

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