I am so frustrated right now. My wound is still producing a very smelly oil and I cannot take it anymore. My mind tells me that I should go to the hospital and have it cure. But the sad part is, no one will be able to accompany me. Brothers are too busy with their own life. Mother is also very busy with her work that she still think about on how to spend her earn money for herself. What a useless mother she is.
I wake up very early because I slept very early. My wound is still giving me weakness hormones that sometimes I cant eat and all I want is to lay down the whole time. What added to my frustration is the water interruption. At this very early, no water is flowing all over town. Like this is very insane! How can I take a bath? Haaaaaays. Too much thinking! Oh by the way. Also my orders are not ready. Its been ages now that my shipment of orders are not yet in my hands. My supplier gave me another lame reason why it didnt arrive. Also my second supplier is also the worst. I thought I will have a very responsible supplier. And oh my! She also giving me troubles. I need to ship my orders to my buyer in cavite and yet my 3 items are not available. Haaaaaaaays I am so frustrated right now that my head is giving me throbbing headache.
Why I always end up in trouble? Are these circumstances a test to my faith? And I should quit my life and surrender? To be honest. I am so tired of these shit. I wanted to pull the plug and be painless. No more trouble and I can live forever in the other world. But seeing Basty, understanding Abell and my Ian makes me want to live more. I want them to see me okay. I want to show them how strong I am. But I cannot take this anymore. Im so tired already. Im done giving myself my best shot.
If in case sooner I will be gone. I want my family not to cry because they are the one who dump me and make my life miserable especially my mother, who of all time always think about herself. Think about how her life took it place. She always think of herself that she even didnt notice that her sons are going for a bad life. I hate her so much! And I will still be hating her until I die. I will not let her cry in my wake. I want her to stay away in my wake. I want her out of my life if that moment will come. I dont want her to come near my wake. She's the one responsible for all the bad luck we have.
How I wish I can choose a mother. Sorry my God. You know how faithful I am to you. its just that all my life I kept believing that I have a wonderful mom who loves us. But I was wrong. She is not worthy of the praises I gave her in the past. The love I always tell her in my cards.
Pls forgive me father for I have sinned. Amen.
I wake up very early because I slept very early. My wound is still giving me weakness hormones that sometimes I cant eat and all I want is to lay down the whole time. What added to my frustration is the water interruption. At this very early, no water is flowing all over town. Like this is very insane! How can I take a bath? Haaaaaays. Too much thinking! Oh by the way. Also my orders are not ready. Its been ages now that my shipment of orders are not yet in my hands. My supplier gave me another lame reason why it didnt arrive. Also my second supplier is also the worst. I thought I will have a very responsible supplier. And oh my! She also giving me troubles. I need to ship my orders to my buyer in cavite and yet my 3 items are not available. Haaaaaaaays I am so frustrated right now that my head is giving me throbbing headache.
Why I always end up in trouble? Are these circumstances a test to my faith? And I should quit my life and surrender? To be honest. I am so tired of these shit. I wanted to pull the plug and be painless. No more trouble and I can live forever in the other world. But seeing Basty, understanding Abell and my Ian makes me want to live more. I want them to see me okay. I want to show them how strong I am. But I cannot take this anymore. Im so tired already. Im done giving myself my best shot.
If in case sooner I will be gone. I want my family not to cry because they are the one who dump me and make my life miserable especially my mother, who of all time always think about herself. Think about how her life took it place. She always think of herself that she even didnt notice that her sons are going for a bad life. I hate her so much! And I will still be hating her until I die. I will not let her cry in my wake. I want her to stay away in my wake. I want her out of my life if that moment will come. I dont want her to come near my wake. She's the one responsible for all the bad luck we have.
How I wish I can choose a mother. Sorry my God. You know how faithful I am to you. its just that all my life I kept believing that I have a wonderful mom who loves us. But I was wrong. She is not worthy of the praises I gave her in the past. The love I always tell her in my cards.
Pls forgive me father for I have sinned. Amen.
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