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Been thinking this.

October it is! two months to go and its Christmas once again. What would this Christmas bring to me? Hopefully forever Happiness and more life. I still don't have a clue. 

 Well, what I have been doing for the past days is nothing. Been laid for work for more than 10 days now and I feel so so strange and weaker. Anyhow, I will have to see my Doctor in just two days. 

 I have been thinking of this lately, wait! no I have been thinking for this the whole day. Its about a friend of mine and I can even think about it if we are lovers or not. A lot of things happened before ( way back the old days though ). 

 I am able to view his wife's Facebook account just awhile ago. I even send a friend request not thinking of what would be the outcome. I just feel that I need to say sorry for him, I know I owe him a sorry but he never text me anymore. After I said something else to him that make him mad or sad.  I don't want to be a home wrecker nor someone I don't want to be. I want to be the only one, nothing else for that matter. I know that we both have the same feelings but that was before when I haven't met those guys I have in my life not even my LOVE now. But he just don't understand or he don't want to understand that things are not the way it was before. I am happy with the current guy I have with me now. I am contented of what we have now. 

 After that incident. He never text me at all. I need to talk to him and sort things out. Tell him that I am not the girl she once knew before. No attachment from someone. No relationship. I am taken and loved by someone. If only I can turn the hands of time and set thing the way it should be. But I  can't. Though those past served a lesson that we need to go through life's ache. I will still be consider him one of my best pages in life. Though through him I learned to appreciate little things and know love the first time I set my eyes on him. 

 I dreamed of him before. As if there's nobody out there that can give me joy. I even thought of him being my husband but Fate is not that friendly at all. 

 Life is nothing but complicated. 

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