Let it go or Let me go..

I cant understand the feelings that are hovering inside me now. Its the same feeling I have felt before.
I dreaded the day to come that you will see me and tell me of how you feel about me. I cant stand it because somehow I know that you feel the same way too but why hiding it from me? Am I too old for you to show your real feelings? or is it your standards that so high?
Just let me know how you want me to be the way you want it..
I can be whatever you want me, just let me know.

I dont know this feeling, so strange than the past I have. I found no reason nor words to describe how I longed to feel your skin that touches mine.
I want to see the laughter , the smile , the innocent face that you have.
Like the song " whenever Im with you, you make me feel young again " that kind of feeling that I can never resist. I think of you , night and day.

A friend told me, if he doesn't seemed to care then let it go and move on, he's not worth it for your time and you see how he takes you for granted. The truth hurts, really hurts. When can I freed from this awful feeling of being hurt again and again?

Then my heart whispers, give it another change..
Pot luck!

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Celebrating Good Life at 30..

It was my 30th Birthday yesterday. I am so thankful I got this far and I know I will 30 years from now. I have that faith in me. So I celebrated my Birthday at home with my family of course. We shared good food,good drinks and good conversation as always. My father empress me by cooking my fave dishes. I was surprised by how they prepared me my birthday dinner. I am overwhelmed. I know that I am still their one and only PRINCESS. My brothers was there and some relatives as well. For me that was one of the special event in my life and I know more to come. After dinner my mother and I bought some ice cream and jelly roll for dessert and for the nephews and nieces. They like ice cream so much. When I was a kid I am a slacker for ice cream and now that I'm adult I don't like eating too much ice cream anymore. You know the thought that ice cream are for kids not for adults anymore. Do you agree with that? I agree lol. This time no cards and no flowers. I just remembe...

Look who's back with a BANG!

And I'm back here. The last time I fueled this page was last year. What's new? Same thing the usual. I'm still the sick me. How I wish I can tell myself, hey' I'm back from the normal person I am. The happy outgoing me. Actually, there is something new about me. I'm no longer the person who likes to go outside, instead, I'm becoming a cavewoman. The only place where I'm comfortable walking around in the center where I have my treatment. Since I was confined last April and June, my body became proportional, my face is kind of bloated and I'm having a hard time standing straight and even walking straight. I know that these are the changes you have once your body is no longer having the mutual understanding of all the components needed in your body. This year, my calcium was less, phosphorous is still high - when can I get this lower. I did a test for my iPTh and I've got 500 plus which is not as bad as they said but my body is gettin...

One words Day

I'm so inspired to write some poetry today. It's like words come right through me. But I'm not a good writer just like anybody. I'm just trying to be like one and will never stop writing as long as I live. Learning the basic is what I'm doing now. Inspired by those local and individual who loves to write. I have here two of my writings. I know its not constructed but that's poetry right? More misery in its words. I also discovered my new fave author though I haven't got a chance to read her book but read some of her passage and poems. And I'm looking forward to have her books. Anyway, here's my two piece of my written words. More writings from me.. Till then.

JustBhem

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